Hi everyone. I'm quite new to Wikivorce. I read on one of the forums about what a waste of time and money it is to defend a divorce on the grounds of adultery. It was said that no one will ever know, so what does it matter? I disagree. Your response to the petition is sent to your other half, and so they will have forever this piece of paper, signed by you, that they can show to all and sundry, 'proving' that you admitted to committing adultery. Bearing in mind how bitter divorces can get, would you really want this person, who probably hates your guts, to have this in their possession?
I know where you are coming from, it's more the principle of the matter.
However, divorce is non-fault in this country and if people want to judge you without the full facts then leave them to it.
Is admitting adultery (whether it actually happened or not)really the end of the world ? Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
To get to this stage it is clear that the marriage has broken down and would it really make a big difference if it was cited for Unreasonable Behaviour instead? He could then walk around with a bit of paper saying how you refused to discuss marriage problems, never showed any emotional support for him etc...I think not.
An agreed separation for 2 years would have been more suitable if it is principle you are worried about rather than getting a quickie divorce.
Best to get these things out of the way as quick as possible unless you are holding onto the notion that everything may turn rosy again in your relationship, which I doubt from what you are saying.
Principles just make you wait longer for the inevitable and may incur you further costs.
I didnt actually know this. So that means that one will be dropping on my mat soon then !! I petitioned against my stbx adultery but I have NO intention of waving it anywhere. I dont even particularly want to have it sent to me. I didnt know it would be. It isnt anything that I am happy about. I am heartbroken by it so wouldnt want to be gloating that he admitted it
I'd defend it if my ex tried to divorce me for that - quite apart from the fact it wouldnt be true, how would I explain that to my son? I did consider it as an approach as its 6 months but my solicitor says we can divorce for unreasonable behaviour which is a 6 month one as well, so am intending to go with that.
completely get the common sense of not fighting due to money, but I'd dig my heels in on that one personally.