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Options without a divorce

  • avis19
  • avis19's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
25 Jun 08 #28708 by avis19
Topic started by avis19
Am hoping some of you will be able to throw some light on my complicated case..

I have been married for over 9years and have been living separately (in different countries) from my X2B for over 3years.

We had a separation earlier - tried working the marriage but to no avail. We haven't kept in contact or spoken for over a year.

The marriage was done abroad not registered in the UK.
I have two young kids - both mother & children live abroad.

X2B is educated and has a large assets and so there are no financial difficulties in living separately.

All through the separation now and earlier, my X2B has steadfastly refused to talk about divorce - either due to religious reasons or because she is not interested in marrying again or because of her assets.

So anyways, based on my current UK residency, I understand the various grounds for a divorce:

- wait another 2years for a "5yr separation" divorce without any contest

- or file one now for unreasonable behaviour/desertion.
This may be contested and a contested international case can be long-drawn due to judicial process serving under the hague convention etc.

I am nearing 40 and don't want to spend my life waiting and would like to move on.

I've recently started seeing another woman and she knows about my situation.


1. Can we simply live together and continue with life until I complete my 5years separation? Can that be ruled as bigamy? Not as I understand it.

2. Can I have children in this relationship? If I state in the birth certificate that I am the father, can that be bigamy? or just adultery? what are the implications?

3. When I get a divorce, how will the financial settlement work if I have children with my new partner?

Aren't there advantages to having children - so the "pool" is split over a larger number? (we want children anyways - so its a question of wait till the divorce or have kids now)

I understand that the X2B abroad will still have rights over assets etc - until i get a divorce with her.

What are my other options? - apart from talking sense into the woman & agreeing on a divorce that is!

I understand mutual consent is the least complicated route but the most difficult here unfortunately.

Thanks for reading !

  • dawn1
  • dawn1's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
25 Jun 08 #28781 by dawn1
Reply from dawn1
Hi, in answer to your questions:-

1 yes you can live together and no it is not bigamy unless you get married, which you wont be.
2 yes you can have children and say you are the father, your x can then say you commited adultery but if after 6 months she hasn't agreed to divorce you it is discounted in the courts and even if she didn't know and sited this on divorce we have a no blame system, so it wouldn't matter.
3 your children with your new partner will be taken into account in any financial decisions.
the court will obviously have to take into account the welfare of the new children.
your x will have a right depending on length of marriage to 50% of all assets, please remember that her assets are taken into account and you will be entitled to approx half of hers. the courts usually start at a 50/50 split but as there are children involved and depending on circumstances they can increase that in teh x wifes favour.
hope this helps
kind regards

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