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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

To petition or not to petition?

  • Dickie mint
  • Dickie mint's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
19 Mar 12 #318895 by Dickie mint
Topic started by Dickie mint
It is now three weeks since my wife dropped the bombshell that she wants a divorce. Those that have read my earlier posts will have seen my initial queries, and much advice has been received, thanks!

Since dropping the bombshell, she has done nothing else. She has not any idea of what to do, and to the best of my knowledge she has not taken any proper advice, she says that she is too busy etc etc.
I did not want to divorce and tried in vain to suggest that we take professional counselling etc, but she was not interested. I''ve come to terms now (almost) that the marriage is over, and that I''d go along with it, as long as we could sort the children & finances amicably.
She says she''d like to do that but as usual (one of the marital problems) she just won''t talk about things, or even about petitioning etc.

Therefore I''m wondering if there would be any advantage if I took the initiative and petitioned her?
Is this advisable, is it detrimental, what are the advantages and disadvantages, and does it cost me any money? Would it change the overall picture and turn the situation against me, in the future proceedings etc?

Any and all advice welcome Please?

  • WhiteRose
  • WhiteRose's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
20 Mar 12 #319213 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
Hi Iceman,

Mmmmmmmm i''ve read this post over and over again and have 2 trains of thought:

1 - You can take the bull by the horns and take control of this situation, as Petitioner you can control the timeline for the Divorce.

2 - You take stock, rather than act in haste - sometimes the ''I want a Divorce'' doesn''t mean ''I want a Divorce'' - it means - I''m hurting/sad/need some attention/need some affection/I''m not happy ................

I can see that if it is option 2 - that her refusing to talk about things can make it harder to sort things out, but maybe she needs some space to get her head together?

Do you want to give the marriage one last try?

Only you know the answers.

If the marriage is definitely over go for no. 1, if there is a chance you may regret not giving it one last chance - go for no. 2 (you always have no. 1 to fall back on if no. 2 doesn''t work :S)


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