Solicitor advice

Hi All
So okay looking for advice stbx informed that he was no longer willing to pay mortgage as currently unemployed (working cash in hand) as living with new girlfriend in her pub and needed his navy pension which was being used to pay his share of mortgage and maintenance for children and would give me £400, mortgage £920 and bills £800, my salary and child tax credit covers that but not included food or petrol etc. Also said would no longer visit children (chosen to live 400 miles away)unless I paid half his petrol or met him halfway. Spoke to solicitor who said lucky to get that as only needs to give me 20% and the children have his mobile number so that should be fine. When I mentioned having to put house on market and needed to think about share said that would start at 50/50 and maybe look at 60/40. Whilst I didn''t expect heart and flowers from her she was really harsh and didn''t actually offer advice. Am I expecting too much as really felt she''s not supporting me or am I just being naive?

Hi Moggs. If you mean her being a solicitor, then yes her attitude is the norm. Solicitors are not a shoulder to cry on. They are there to dig out of a hole people that have tangled finances. And thats there only role.

It is usual that couples with children share the transport costs or meet halfway to drop the kids off. Try and look at the bigger picture here. Its better that the kids see the absent parent. Rather then save a few quid on some petrol. Try and work out a fair swap over point between you.

He has to pay the mortgage or at least half the mortgage. A mortgage is just a loan secured on something like a house or something. If no one pays, then they take the house and get the money that way. If its not enough to meet there needs, then they persue you both for the remainder. In the meantime, making you and the kids homeless.

I wouldnt sell the house and let him decide the split. Thats bonkers. You have the kids. And you need a bigger slice than 50 / 50. For this I think you need pucka legal advice as there is a lot at stake here.

I wouldnt mess about with CM. I would go straight to the CSA. I know he is paying you more than 20% but at least then you are garenteed regular income. And he wont have you on a short leash. Which is where he has you now. He can just stop paying you. And there isnt a lot you can do about it right now. Get this setup with the CSA and you will be on the right track.

As far as the mortage goes, what I would do is pay half. And suggest that he pays the other half. You get a couple of none payment strikes with the lender before they start proceedings. And its a bit of a bluff. In the end, if he dont pay, then you can pay the other half. But I would talk to the lender. See what they say. C.

Moggs wrote:

Whilst I didn''t expect heart and flowers from her she was really harsh and didn''t actually offer advice. Am I expecting too much as really felt she''s not supporting me or am I just being naive?

No, I don''t think you are expecting too much. True a solicitor is not a shoulder to cry on, they are there to do a job. But they should be on your side and should give you advice about how to get the best outcome, that is the whole point. If you felt like you did not get on with the solicitor, or she was not folly committed to getting you the best possible outcome, then I would see another. You can have as many free half hours as you like before choosing the one you like most.

Be careful that you are not mistaking good advice with the advice that is good that you just dont want to believe.

I have a good solicitor, but I recently got rid of my barrister as I need someone a bit more fiesty.

If you can come to an agreement between you, you will save so much money, time and stress.

Think about your needs, and not how much you can get. I was willing to be way more generous at the beginning, willing to walk away with barely anything just to not have to go through the courts. But she has dragged this divorce and me through the dirt and the bitter and anger I feel towards her makes me even more determined to fight for everything. Sorry for the rant