Absolute before settling finances?

I know that this is technically a No No but i was wondering if anyone had done it and whether it has lead to problems for them?

My situation is that I have spent the last three years trying to track down exhubby through several addresses to get him to sign divorce petition. No contact with kids either (his choice). I have finally got a court to agree to deemed service (5 copies of divorce Petition + 3 witness statements)and am now in a position to apply for Absolute.Divorcing on grounds of desertion.

But surprise , surprise on the same day as Nisi conformation arrived he began to phone children after 4 yrs of silence. I am deeply cynical of his motives, but obviously won''t be telling our children this, as they need to realise for themselves what kind of man their father is.

When he had broken off contact completely solicitor advised that not going for Clean Break would be be ok as he might continue to ignore us.But going for clean break would mean having to pay out a share of the remaining assets (which are in my name) ex has already had assets up to the value of the matrimonal home by emptying joint accounts / selling second property at time of separation.I think he has been financially profligate and spinning a web of lies to girlfriends who believe he is a wealthy artist, while I have worked v hard in cleaning jobs to support our kids.

What I really want to know is has anyone else risked going for Absolute without financials and what happened?

Hi Bunnygirl

I have my Nisi, prounounced in June 2011 and my solicitor advised not to get Absolute until finances are sorted out.

My children are both adults but there are assets to sort out.

My advice to you would be not go ahead with your absolute until you have sorted out financials, especially as it sounds like you think your ex has an ulterior motive in appearing after 4 years,

I would certainly suggest getting some legal advice if you have not done so already.

Best wishes

I have my Absolute, but we have a house to fight over with no equity and have agreed a Consent Order now. I was also advised that its to your detriment to get the Absolute if you have assets.

Thank you both for your advice and for getting back to me so promptly.

I am unfortunately suspicious of ex''s motives here - four years of utter silence and suddenly he''s ringing on a weekly basis at regular time . I''d like to think he genuinely wants to try and rebuild a relationship with our children but .....

I think I''d better try and talk to solicitor after the Easter hols are over.

Go with your gut feeling Bunnygirl, I really think you can''t go far wrong when you listen to that warning bell.

It would be lovely to think that his intention is to rebuild a relationship with your children but I think you are absolutely right to check out your options, your children don''t need to know your fears and anyway he doesn''t need to know your fears either. Getting some proper advice is the way to go

Best of luck and let us know how you get on.

Kind regards