So Angry

Today i received a solicitors letter from my stbx solicitor regarding finances...
He has claimed that he thinks in have enough settlement as i received my inheritence back from the house and as ive been trying to sort it out with him over text...if i text him again he is going to do me for harrassment...
please give views on this
His wage 36,000
His house value 128,000 said the mortgage is 116,000
Did have shares in company but now his solicitor claims he has none! looks like they have been sold as were paying out at 300 a month!
He as a pension worh 50k
Mine wage 6,000 a year
tax credits 6,384 a year
child maintenance 4,200 a year
child benefit 960 a year
house worth 150,000 no mortgage paid for as was under a deed of trust
pension 6k
debts of 12k

Have i got a fair deal my son is only 13 and so maintenance and tax credits will end in 5 years....

please advise!

you have stated the income and asetts of both parties but i am unsure as to whether this is positioning by your stbx solicitor as part of trying to reach a financial settlement or whether a financial settlement has been reached.
It sounds like positioning by your stbx and if so it would be common for one party to state a position from which negotiations start.
I think it is very difficult to comment on what is a fair settlement because what i may think is fair someone else may think is ridiculous. What i have seen is that whether you like your solicitor or not the financial settlement is the business end of proceedings and my experience is that this is were my solicitor earned his fee.
My experience would also suggest that you dont agree anything without legal advice as to what they think you are entitled too, accepting that a court could suggest something different but it shouldnt be too far away.

Easy to say but dont get angry. the stbx solicitor will be making a position from which to start and the position is likely to be at the low end.
It''s also a silly solicitors game to send a letter on a friday night for you to receive it on a saturday when you cant speak to your legal advisors and are left to stew over it until monday morning. very sad but not uncommon game with some solicitors.

Hang in there, it sounds like a marker by your stbx, nothing has been agreed and it has a little while to go.

We have not reached agreement just sold the marital home and my 168,000 came back to me as it was under a deed of trust...
my exs sol said that me ex earns 2,477 a month and has outgoings worth 2,354....
I have tried to go to mediation but my ex claims hes no money and he does not think it would be worthwhile...went on to say that they would not go into details at this stage but would in the future...it also said that if i take him to court for financial they would issue form a for the 168,00o i received from the marital house but i purchased a house for my son and me with it.
when the marital house was sold they put the settlemnet they wanted to give was my inheritence back plus child maintenance...i dont see how that is fair as i tied it up in a trust deed and ive worked 20 years part time bringing up the children!

i would also like to point out that nothing has been signed either..

So a financial settlement hasnt been reached.
Do you have legal advice avalalible to you?
if so forward the letter to them. As they sent the letter direct to you i suspect you dont have legal advisors at this stage and i would strongly urge you to seek advice if this is the case. I understand that you may not want too but you need to at least discuss the current situation and understand possible outcomes. Any advice on here about what might be a fair settlement will be based mainly on a personal view, not a legal one and you really need a legal view on this.

Really, the solicitors letters are often shots across the bow and they will ultimately do as your ex tells them to do.
The financial settlement is, in my experience, an emotional rollercoaster that is not helped by solicitors letters direct to either party.

I am sure others will offer advice on this matter and it will be good to get their views on this.

Nothing has been agreed, remember that, nothing is decided or lost.

I know you are angry, your post title states that. So please don''t take this the wrong way, it is meant as a neutral comment and I am assuming various things, namely that your ex got nothing from the sale of the marital home and it was indeed the marital home.
If the above is true, I think you got a fantastic deal. Having looked into deeds of trust myself to protect my assets when remarrying, I was told that once you marry they carry very little weight in law. The basis for English marriage in law is that all assets are shared, regardless of where the money came from. There are several other threads on here with people trying to protect inheritances but the courts do consider them fair game. That you were able to honour your deed of trust is great, but I imagine your ex could have made a claim to this if he wanted. You say you worked part-time to bring up the kids, your ex might say you could only do this as he was going out to work and bringing in money to pay the other outgoings.
If your ex did get nothing from the sale then his outgoings in all likelihood will be very high. It costs a lot to start again when you rent or need to find a deposit.
Your net income is 17k pa, with no mortgage. His net income will be around 24 k ( after tax and maintenance) but he has additional housing costs. And, unless you forgot to mention this, he has no significant assets.
I think that you did get a very good deal and I would try to get this formalised ASAP before your ex changes his mind.

From the legal POV a fair settlement is one that complies with the law so it is worth seeing a solicitor to find out where you stand and what options there are even if you then negotiate between yourselves or go to mediation. As you have found out it isn''t possible to force someone into direct negotiations or mediation.

I''m not sure what settlement has been proposed but there are bits of information missing - the duration of your relationship (marriage+any co-hab before), ages and the average number of nights a week your child is to spend with each parent.

Generally speaking the value of all the assets held in joint and sole names minus any liabilities forms the net value of the "pot" to be divided up. This is shared according to a checklist of factors and the needs of the parties, in particular for housing, is more often than not at the top of the list, or near the top. Only if there are more than enough assets to meet the needs of both spouses and an inheritance was kept separate from family finances is it likely the inheritance would be allocated back to the person who inherited.

One other general point. If your husband''s income is gross it''s unlikely he would have much if any ability to pay spouse maintenance and you need to try and maximize any potential income so that you don''t suffer hardship when your son reaches maturity and CB, tax credits and CB stop.