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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


So Angry

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15 Apr 12 #323851 by WhiteRose
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blonde cazza wrote:

I do agree with what you are saying and now h im worried about texting him about anything incase i he makes any more allegations!...i have put in my letter to my solicitor how does he wish to communicate if he doesnt want texts because even after we are divorced we have to communicate for our son!...i did text him to advise him that i was working late on friday and would it be ok for him to pick up our child at 6.30 instead of 6 as i needed to get home and speak to son first and get his things ready...he totally ignored my text spoke to son on the phone and said he was coming at 6 even though i had already explained to son it was going to be 6.30!...so even that has to be addressed!....Although he claims he has no money it costs us both to go to a solicitor first and this really is getting pathetic now with him!


I think in the divorce process when things get acrimonious each party can see the other as the enemy - and can tend to adopt the ''Party opposition'' approach - think of politics. One party says one thing and the other (opposing party) instantly takes the opposing view.

So when you text ''Son will be ready at 6.30, not 6'' he may not think - ''OK thats reasonable'' he may think ''How dare she dictate to me that I miss out on half an hour with my son'' and so he fights to maintain the 6pm pick up. Do you see?

Each of you may be so entrenched in painting the other as the opposition you are no longer working together to the benefit of your lad.

I would push for mediation - getting individual issues agreed through sols or Court may work short term, but long term you both need a strategy to joint parent.

Take care

WR

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15 Apr 12 #323856 by blonde cazza
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I have tried White rose really i have...have brought the issues up each time with my solicitor and have pushed for mediation but he refuses to go point blank...i have suggested family conselling as well to see what his issues are with me but he ignores you.
I usually finish work at 2 at the latest as my work have been fantastic in going round my child but i have to work late on school holidays as staff were starting to complain so thought it would be an ideal situation!
Im really at my wits end and like i said worried to text him over anything now but how can you do joint parenting with him when hes acting like this!
I just want finances sorted and issues over contact and just want to be able to move on with my life!

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15 Apr 12 #323857 by WhiteRose
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I can feel your frustration!

It takes 2 to co-operate and work together, so if he refuses mediation, you can''t ''force'' him to be co-operative.

As you''ve tried various things, it may be worth asking him what he suggests to move this forward?

He can''t be happy either with the current situation, so rather than you both feeling constantly at odds with each other, put the ball in his court and let him come up with something.

WR x

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15 Apr 12 #323866 by blonde cazza
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Yes i do agree with you white rose...i will put that to my solicitor as well...im not going to risk texting him at all at the moment but he is being immature...i have always said to him that once divorce is through we sill are going to have to communicate and the way hes doing things at present is going to affect our children in the long run..
He has involved our 18 year old in the divorce she has read letters,texts and has shown a huge amount of hate

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