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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


So Angry

  • blonde cazza
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14 Apr 12 #323738 by blonde cazza
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Im not angry at you guys im angry because my ex is suggesting im harrassing him re the finances...my ex had 1,500 from sale of our house but our last marital home he had 40k and so dd i as he instructed our solictior that he wanted his equity so i put my parents inheritence in our home.
He did have shares in the family business but now has said hes never had any so he must of sold them...
I may seem ok on paper now but in 5 years time i will be struggling and he will inherite at least 150k when his parents pass away in the future...

  • MrsMathsisfun
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14 Apr 12 #323740 by MrsMathsisfun
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my partners ex had her solicitor send him a letter stating

she found his text messages and emails bullying. A more gentle man you couldn''t ask for all he was trying to do was sort out the finances and contact regarding his children.

What she didnt really like was the fact he was saying NO and she really doesnt like to be told no!!

What a court would look at is whether you could increase your income once your child is older. Unfortunately future inhertiance wouldnt be looked at.

Sorry that should have read wouldnt look at future inheritance. (my dyslexia strikes again!!)

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14 Apr 12 #323743 by blonde cazza
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i know jaymdee thats all im trying to do is sort out finances and issues surrounding our son...
How do you sort out future parenting if he claims your harressing him...its a joke!
I think im going to send all information to my solicitor and get him to advise...
Jaymdee knowing his parents they would claim that they wouldnt give him inheritence but they own a house worth 500k and a house in spain and have 3 sons!
Its also a joke because my exs wages have gone up by 177 a month in the last year but didnt have a rise over the last 3 and hes paying less then csa amount!:angry:

  • happyagain
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14 Apr 12 #323744 by happyagain
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I think jaymdee meant that future inheritance would not be looked at, not unless it was imminent. At least that''s what others have been advised on this site.
We also had a claim of harassment when my husband contacted his ex to sort out collecting the kids. We too were furious, she escalated the complaint as well and tried to get an order against him, luckily the police weren''t interested. So I do understand your anger at this ridiculous power game that is being played out. For the past 18 months we have had absolutely nothing to do with her, not even ringing the bell when collecting kids. To the point where she complained (when making unexpected contact to try and cause problems with contact on our wedding day) that my husband didn''t even say hello to her when he dropped the kids off in a car park the week before!! He told her he doesn''t date speak to her n case of what she might allege next ..

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14 Apr 12 #323746 by WhiteRose
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Seeking legal advice is a must!

You also need to then weigh up what you''d gain by going to court and offset that with the estimated court costs.

I read on here many who want to go to court to gain a few extra thousand only to lose more in sols fees and court costs :(I can''t remember the post but one person paid £30k and her ex paid out £20k in court sorting out financials - £50k that I suppose could have gone to the kids (or somewhere far better) and the outcome was not far off what was offered in the first place.

A sol will be able to advise a likely outcome and estimated costs schedule.

I''m guessing mediation is out of the question?

Do a stress buster to get rid of the anger and try not to let it consume you and ruin your weekend :unsure:

Take care

WR

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14 Apr 12 #323750 by john1960
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whiterose makes a very good point on court/legal costs. In my experience its a difficult call. you dont want to spend money on legal bills but you need good advice.
maybe it''s a case of treading gently to get an opinion on a possible outcome without the need to hire an expensive barrister.

as for the harressment, please dont think i am taking sides because i am not but what you think are reasonable texts may not be so for the person receiving them and it may not be what is being said but the very fact that they are being received and the effect that has on a person. Maybe you will say your ex is this and that but you cannot know how him receiving the texts makes him feel inside, as bizzare as that may sound. on the other hand he may be playing games, either way communication over financies is difficult by any form of media, its such an emotive subject.
if there is a channel of communication open such as email is it possible to think about asking what form of communication works for him without him feeling pressured by it. im not suggesting your not but maybe try and take the moral high ground and appeal to him rather than request of him.
sorry if you are and/or have been doing so, just a thought that may help if you havent tried it.
any bloke may appear big and ugly and all hard etc but an email from an ex can be a killer. inside they maynot be able to cope with it for a number of reasons as strange or pathetic as that may sound. rather than be drawn into it it may be better for them, maybe not you but for them to remove the communication. a coping mechanism for some.

hope to hear how things pan out with your situation.

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15 Apr 12 #323842 by blonde cazza
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I do agree with what you are saying and now h im worried about texting him about anything incase i he makes any more allegations!...i have put in my letter to my solicitor how does he wish to communicate if he doesnt want texts because even after we are divorced we have to communicate for our son!...i did text him to advise him that i was working late on friday and would it be ok for him to pick up our child at 6.30 instead of 6 as i needed to get home and speak to son first and get his things ready...he totally ignored my text spoke to son on the phone and said he was coming at 6 even though i had already explained to son it was going to be 6.30!...so even that has to be addressed!....Although he claims he has no money it costs us both to go to a solicitor first and this really is getting pathetic now with him!

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