France, and what it can do, if you let it...

If anyone''s remotely interested, this article in todays "You" magazine - a supplement to the Mail on Sunday - describes the situation I (and others) have found ourselves in after moving as ex-pats to life in another country. Although it''s probably bad form to reveal my identity, it''s really of no import because the photo is easily recognisable, and I''ve always considered my situation to be in the public domain, anyway.

www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-212...dream-nightmare.html

For what it''s worth, my small contribution is at the bottom...

I am weathering this storm, and recent changes have shown me a brighter future, despite my earlier cynicism and disbelief...

Chris

What a brave thing to do Chris and I am sure you will help many think through a decision to relocate to another country and the potential impact that decision may have on the future of a relationship.

I know it can take ages for an article to be published, I think this is the one you were talking about some time ago.

I wanted to say well done for highlighting a live issue in a brave way. I did something similar but anonymously in the national press. I wasnt quite as brave as you!

I thought to myself, if my story highlighted in that article just helps one person see things differently, it will have made a difference. I''m sure you feel the same way and also in your case is suspect you must be mildly curious as to whether your wife has seen it. Bet that would be a shock over the cornflakes.

Finally I am so happy to hear that your circumstances are changing and that things are getting better for you. Much deserved.

Thanks, Shoegirl. I''m not by nature particularly brave, and I think it''s important for those who read that article, and similar recent ones, to be aware that although things may fall apart for one half of a couple in France, who considers it necessary to abandon the other, the one who is obliged to stay can occasionally pick up the tatters of what remains, reassemble them, and invite someone else to share what, in my view, is a good and comfortable way of life.

We had no money problems here at all, were financially comfortable for the rest of our lives had we seen it through, and my wife''s sudden departure has resulted in a huge financial loss for both of us, which could have been so easily avoided with a little honesty, forethought, discussion, and planning. All absent, unfortunately, to our great loss.

But I''m staying, because I want to, and I like it here.

Chris

Nice to know more about you Chris. Hope things pan out for you. Bon niut.

Hi Chris,
What you did was selfless and very brave. I am sure that by telling your story you have helped others too. I was happy to read that things are looking up, i am glad for you. Take care

Hi Chris. I feel I know you very well. You have been here a long time on this site and I have followed yr story with interest. And I am glad that you are now sounding a lot more positive. I think the opposite to you. I think you are very brave. Putting yr story up to warn others about living is rural France is on its own very brave.

You hear the same sorts of stories from lots of ex pats who move to all parts of the world. And I liked the statement, fail to prepare then prepare to fail. This sort of sorry tale has roots in all sorts of ventures from those that start up business and fail to people that leave a marriage and subsequently fail.

I doubt that you failed to prepare though as you had retired and you didnt need an income. And you had this wonderful life.

But nothing can prepare you for a whole life change. Be it a new business or a divorce or moving abroad.

I love my country. I love where I live. And I love my life. Living in another country is not something I would ever consider. I am just not brave enough. So hats off to you Chris for doing something that I am not brave enough to even consider. And I am also pleased that life is looking better for you. A long time coming. Right? C.

Hi Chris

I read that article yesterday and was already thinking about your situation when I saw the picture and thought - I am sure I know that man from Wiki but thought it must have been too much of a co-incidence.

It did highlight to me many of my own doubts when people have gone off to retire in a foreign country - but that is becaus I have no illusions about being totally British despite my mixed ancestery and that fact that I have dual nationality as a result of my mothers nationality.

I like the others am thrilled to here that you are more positive about your future. What would be good would be if you could be less anxious about finances - from a personal perspective I totally understand how difficult it is to forget about finances when you have always done your best to make sure you are going to be solvent.

All the best.