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My ex wont stay out of the house

  • sulkypants
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15 Apr 12 #324001 by sulkypants
Topic started by sulkypants
We seperated over a year ago and he has bought a new house admittedly he didnt have all the furnishing he needed (although he could make more efford to aquire them.

When he collects my youngest who is thirteen to take her on a visit he just taps the front door and walks in..... I feel invaded

I have never so much as walked down his path so the thought that he could be so disrepectful is distressing

He turns up to borrow things like hedge trimmers and gas barbeque things I feel he should have to get his own set of.... I think he feels my garage is his storage unit.

I took the house keys off him yet he still walks in uninvited which means if I know he is due to collect my daugher I end up hiding in bedroom.

He is ex Police so made it perfectly clear to me he knows exactly what to say.... or do to have me arrested (the bells rang loud and clear) There is no real threat of violence just the fact that he should stay out of the home he doesnt live here so arrived at times unannounced to borrow the barbeque leaves me feeeling distressed

  • sexysadie
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15 Apr 12 #324030 by sexysadie
Reply from sexysadie
You need to get your solicitor to write to hime pointing out that although this is still his house (assuming he still co-owns it) it is your home and he does not have right of entry.

He presumably thinks that as he still co-owns the house he can walk in any time but that is not the case and he needs to be told that formally.

Best wishes,

  • cookie2
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16 Apr 12 #324118 by cookie2
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He is your husband. He has a right to enter the house.

The only way to prevent him doing so is to get a divorce and Consent Order/court order.

  • maisymoos
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16 Apr 12 #324170 by maisymoos
Reply from maisymoos
I completely sympathise with your predicament, you have a right to privacy and a personal life now. I believe a Solicitors letter is the best way to go. My stbx took all the expensive equipment from the garage when I was away. I have now disabled the doors, but I suppose its a bit late now :(.

You could suggest you unhappy with the situation for the reasons you give and would prefer to drop and collect your daughter from his property???

  • sulkypants
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16 Apr 12 #324335 by sulkypants
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Its just I feel a year on he has moved on (Russian visa hunting gf lol)

Yet he invites friends round to a BBQ but does not have a BBQ I do .....pathetic

He demonstrates no interest in kids he literally had to be poked into seeing them and has told me he is babysitting.(you dont babysit your own children.

rant rant

but walks in inspects etc

and yes he took all the power tools.

  • Emma8485
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16 Apr 12 #324338 by Emma8485
Reply from Emma8485
Simple but effective, lock the door and leave the keys in the inside then he will have to knock?

  • ifonlyyouknew
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16 Apr 12 #324348 by ifonlyyouknew
Reply from ifonlyyouknew
I am sorry but whoever said he is your husband and has a right to enter the house is very wrong.
Him being ex police menas nothing and do not assume that him being ex police will mean he has contacts or can get a favour or two, he wont.

The view of the police and legal advice will confirm that the fact that your husband does not reside at the property, coupled with the fact that I assume he has removed his posessions from the property, implies that your house is not his abode and that he has made clear his intention that he does not intend it to be.

I agree with previous advice that you should lock your door. This makes it clear that he cannot enter it as anyone else would. However my main advice would be for you to seek legal advice and have a solicitor send a letter to him asking him not to enter the property uninvited, stating the reasons why which will include those i have stated above and those included in sexysuzies reply to you.

I do not wish to judge your husband but if he really suggested that he can get you arrested then i strongly suspect that it is little more than a scare tactic. The police force is a very different place to what it used to be. Dont believe all you read in the press, ex police are no more above the law than anyone else, whatever they may try and portray.

Stand firm but fair. It sounds like your husband left you and you have a right, regardless of who owns the property, to have privacy and to feel safe in your own home. This is a fundemental concept which is supported by the legislation of law.

Be aware that your husband is unlikely to take such action kindly but you will at some stage have to make a stand. Explain to your child the reason you have taken the action. Aged 13 I suspect she should understand the reason even if she doesnt fully agree.
Get legal advice, take care and good luck.

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