How long might this take?

Hi all, just a brief outline of my story so far -

Separated 2 1/2 years ago, I moved out with the kids 2 years ago, house still up for sale (2 good offers but ex refuses to accept), he''s paying bills incl mort on house, I''m renting.

Nisi awarded 18 months ago. Last year nothing really happenned, some because of me not being fussed about it, some because he''s so stubborn and refusing to sell.

So now I''ve just applied for Legal Aid for financials, mediators tried to contact him as first step, I assume he''s not going to go for that and wants to fight.

I''m really keen to get this done and dusted now, its been going on too long, I have found a fantastic man to share my life with and I can''t move forwards whilst I still have all this rubbish dragging on.

I''m swinging between peaks of happiness with my new life - free of controlling ex, kids happy, me happy - and lows so deep I am feeling myself freefalling into depression - controlling ex still messing me about with house sale and split of equity, sporadic contact for kids and bullying tactics when he does decide he wants to see them..

I believe I have a good solicitor (3rd one now, for various reasons beyond my control - £££, moving house and legal aid but I''m happy with her) who is keen to get things moving but I need the light at the end of the tunnel to appear - I feel like I''m still being trapped by my stbx and he''s controlling every move

Also, what are the biggest disadvantages to me applying for the Absolute before all the financials sorted?

Thanks in advance....

It can take up to a year to go through the court process. If you can agree on a settlement at any time then you can cut it short of course.


strongerthanithought wrote:

Also, what are the biggest disadvantages to me applying for the Absolute before all the financials sorted?

If you are the respondent then the disadvantages could be that he blocks it and hits you with a costs order. If not then other disadvantages mostly arise from you not being legally his "spouse". This might become relevant for example for death benefits of a pension which pays out to a spouse. You would no longer be his spouse so you would lose those benefits.