I think that marriage does reflect commitment even though many who chose to live together might disagree. However, there are times when a marriage has deteriorated so badly, that the two people concerned have to let go.
Where the system fails children, is that there seems to be support for only one of the parents and that is usually the mother.
It is generally assumed that mum should remain in the family house with the care of the children. This designates mum as the parent with care and she thus qualifies for all the state help.
Nothing seems to be in place to help both parents with their decisions regarding care of the children. Unless both parents are flexible and willing to come to an agreed arrangement regarding the children, Court appearances with all the ensuing stress and expense, seem to be the only available option.
mediation will only work if the parents can agree. Usually it is dads who struggle for contact with their children, but not always.
It is no good Judges and Ministers bleating on about the effect that divorce has on children unless they are prepared to do something about it.
Which is my mind is - unless there is a very good reason why dad should not have contact with his children, there should be an assumption that both parents should have equal care of their children. They did when they were married, so what is the difference when they are divorced. Enquiry into the incomes of both parents should be done right at the start of the separation in the hope that some sort of parity of income can be achieved. The mother''s income usually is propped up by state benefits, unfortunately dads get no state help whatsoever, even when their income falls well beneath that of the mother.
It is not just mothers who find themselves on the breadline following divorce and help should be given to fathers,especially those who are not highly paid, when they have children to care for following divorce.