Can anyone help ! I left my kids and wife of over 9 years. It was a desicion not taken lightly but it was abusive and she was verbally abusive and I had enoug, she suffers from depression. . After a year I have found someone. She is refusing to divorce me and has claimed unreasonable behavior on my part. She is refusing to talk to me and is going through solicitors. She says her solicitor says she is pushing at an open door and can get everything. 2 properties and my pension is this true? Will I end up with nothing? I want to move on and be amicable but I think she is going to make it very difficult and take the lot
Don''t worry about the reason for divorce. Unreasonable behaviour is used to progress the divorce otherwise you would have to wait two or five years to divorce using separation. Whatever the reason, conduct has no impact on the financial settlement apart from a few very rare cases such as attempted murder.
Sadly threats to take someone for everything, withhold finances or take the children aren''t at all uncommon. It''s highly unlikely you will be left with nothing, unless the value of any assets is low.
A good starting point is to check any state help you or your wife might be entitled to at www.entitled.co.uk, research local house prices and check out both mortgage raising capabilities.
IF the children are to live with your wife for the majority of the time and she her mortgage raising capabilities are lower than yours she may "need" a larger share of the assets to house the children adequately. She may even need all the liquid assets until the children grow up and your share could be held in the form of a charge on property which is paid out when the youngest child reaches 18.
Financial settlement depends on the overall facts - the value of assets (including pensions) held in joint and sole names, respective incomes, duration of the marriage + cohabitation before, ages, the number of children their ages and the number of nights they spend with each parent.
I entirely agree with what Fiona has said. She will get something, but if there are two properties the odds are you''d get one each. She may get a share in your pension but I''d say that after a 9 year marriage it wouldn''t be 50% or anywhere near it.
If she has been told by a solicitor that she will get everything then that solicitor should not be practising family law.
All solicitors ask for more than they expect to get and to some extent this is to leave themselves a bit of room for negotiation. But 100%, no way.
There is only one thing you can do, in my opinion, when you are faced with that sort of attitude. Don''t waste your money on attempts to negotiate. Get your form E in and get before a judge as quickly as you can.
..And just to add a bit of sunshine to your situation. Moving ''switftly'' to form E and the court route can still take up to a year if not slightly more.
My advice (from someone alway dealing with a very unreasonable person)- do as much of the paperwork on your own as possible and bring in solicitors when you need to. If it goes all the way, like mine is, it will be ball-breaking expensive