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Divorce the stigma

  • fairylandtime
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03 May 12 #328277 by fairylandtime
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Am I just being oversensitive or does it appear to others also that as a divorced single parent I have suddenly become the scurge of society?

In the press it is all about the rise of divorce & the unrealistic expectations of couples when they get married -

For better for worse - (more of the worse) so no unrealistic expectations here for me

Married 21 years tried my best to hold it together but it just didn''t work

X left - talk of OW but only denile there& no proof

single working parent, paying my own way no benefits & it''s bl***dy hard but ongoing.

I don''t feel like I fit into the stereotypical pigeon hole of the Government / press re divorce - but why do they have to pigeon hole us? In my opinion I tried as much as I could (see my falts & part in the split) but if you are at that stage there is not a lot you can do is there. Stayed together for the kids for a long while but tbh it''s better now apart than we were together.

Feel like screaming - leave us alone & get on with your own lives thank you.

Rant over - Also a public sector worker (don''t get me started on that!) :angry:perhaps the Gov should just "dispose" of us all then they wouldn''t have a problem!

JJ

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06 May 12 #328698 by dukey
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Is there a stigma these days?, i`m not so sure, i`m one of five and two of us are divorced, my dad often says he wishes he had done it twenty plus years ago, a fair few of the guys i work with are divorced and statistically i think over a third of marriages end in divorce.

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06 May 12 #328747 by flowerofscotland
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Hi fairylandtime,

You can not control the breakdown in a relationship. By all accounts you sound to me if you went above and beyond the call of duty by trying so hard to keep it together. I think that nobody has the right to be judge and jury, there are too many people who try and pick on others because they shout the loudest or have never experienced our heartbreak.

I too tried so hard to keep my marriage alive, but when adultery is involved do the righteous expect us to put on a brave face and just ignore it? Once a third party is involved the trust is gone and we are left with no option.

I do not think it is those of the likes of you and me that they should be picking on, but those who deserted their other halves for a bit on the side or a little bit of excitement. Maybe, as I have mentioned before on Wiki, it is the act of marriage itself that should be addressed by these know alls.

You tried fairylandtime, unlike so many others who give up at the first hurdle, you did your best but in the end it was just not meant to be.

Take care for now FoS x

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06 May 12 #328777 by fairylandtime
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Thanks Dukey & FoS

Was just having a rant against a piece in our local paper which suggested that couples give up too soon, single parents are the reason for delinquent children etc etc.

It gets me mad when "specialists" pigeon hole people & are scathing when I think they know little about the "actual" issue/ haven''t been through it etc.

It is just relentless & tiring & gets me down a bit, 2 kids, house, cash probs, work & an unbelievable x.

On a good day I couldn''t give a stuff what anyone else thinks & I enjoy all of the above / manage.

The seesaw that is divorce.

Thanks again
JJx

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