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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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  • lilly78
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07 May 12 #329016 by lilly78
Topic started by lilly78
Complicated situation in that my husband is divorcing me on the grounds of Adultery. I was having an affair and am still with the person, however he had had two affairs during our Marriage and I had kept these secret to protect him.
I have a letter from his solicitor asking me to accept the terms of Adultery but can''t help feel after weeks of thought that I am taking all the blame whilst he gets away with it all.
I am also not sure how this affects things if i am saying its all my fault legally when it comes to finances etc?
I also found out today he has been living with someone else for three months and saying he is at his sisters! Its all such a sad situation and whilst I accept my part in it he seems to get the easy way out.
Can anyone help?

  • WYSPECIAL
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07 May 12 #329032 by WYSPECIAL
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Makes no odds with regard to finances. They''re not interested in apportioning blame.

  • cookie2
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08 May 12 #329111 by cookie2
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You should only accept the divorce petition if no costs are claimed. If he is claiming costs then you should say that you will agree to it if they drop the costs claim.

  • TBagpuss
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08 May 12 #329115 by TBagpuss
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Cookie is right. Send him /his solicitor a letter marked "without prejudice" in that letter say that while you do not accept that your adultery was the [main] cause of ther breakdown you re willing to cooperate to allow a Petition on that basis provided that no claim for costs is made against you.

the reason for the breakdown, or the details cited in the Petition, aer not relevent to the fiancial settlement. When it comes to sorting out the finances, your respective new relationships are relevent in that they affect your financial needs, but that is the case whether the relationsip- started before or after the divorce, and whether or not it was mentioned in the Petition.

If the divorce does go ahead on the basis of your admitted adultery, you cnstill put on the acknowledgment, if you wish, that you do not intend to defend the divorce but that you do not accept that your adultery was the main or only casue of the marriage break down. It does not stop the divorce going through but does record your position.

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