Am I doning the right thing?

Hiya everyone
Really need some advice me and my husband are separating not my choice btw the problem is he won''t leave until I buy him out and he has some money I have offered him a fair settlement fee which he has agreed to and I am going to buy him out and take over the montage on the house we have jointly owned. My concern is because we are not divorcing at this present time would it be possible for him to come back for more money if we did get divorced and the house was then in my name only. Any advice would be great thanks

Tracey xx

Hi Tracey. Dont give him any money just yet. As you are not divorcing, this will probably not count. I would wait until you are divorcing and then you can get a Consent Order which will incorporate the equity transfer. It will all be above board. There is no reason why you cant start the divorce now. The sooner you do, the sooner you get him out of the house. And if you give him money now, there is no reason for him to leave. C.

my advice would echo the above take some legal advice get a consent order then there is no issues further down the line how do you know its a fair settlement fee tracey? are there children involved ? pensions ? length of marriage etc dont rush into this without proper advice and good luck

While what has been written above is true, there is an alternative. It is perfectly possible to completely separate your financial affiars, without divorcing.

When you agree how to divide your assets, the terms of the agreement are set out in a Deed of Separation or Separation Agreement.

This forms a legally binding contract which, if its terms are breached, can be enforced in court and one of the terms you would have written into the document would be that the settlement is full and final.

Of course, the fact that the agreement is enforceable does not mean it can''t be challenged; it can. Everything can, including consent orders, if there is a legal reason for doing so.

It is important that the document is properly drawn up as there are particular clauses that should be included to protect both of you. Solicitors can do this and so can some mediators and, for obvious reasons, I suggest the latter.

I know this works because I have done it for clients who did not wish to divorce for religious reasons.

I hope this helps.

Imediate wrote:

Deed of Separation or Separation Agreement.
...
This forms a legally binding contract

Ah, well that might be true, but it is not as watertight as you make out. The fact is that a separation agreement can be revisited and overturned when the divorce is filed. That is the problem with SA''s: they are not FINAL.

The only way to get a final resolution of the finances of the marriage is by getting a divorce. Generally getting a separation agreement is a waste of time and money. Best case scenario you''ll have to pay (and swap D81s again) to have it turned into a consent order on divorce. Worst case scenario you''ll have to revisit the entire process all over again on divorce, and the outcome could be very different.

There''s really no advantages to getting a separation agreement as opposed to a consent order in the context of a divorce. The ONLY reason for doing it is if there are religious reasons for not getting divorced. And even then you have to realize that the other party could divorce YOU at any point, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it.

So really it is worth thinking long and hard about whether the marriage is over. If it is then get a divorce and a consent order. If it is not then work things out, do NOT get a separation agreement or give him money for the house.

Hi
Problem is he won''t leave the house even though it''s him who wants out not me but I am finding near impossible to live under the same roof and think if he stays much longer I will end up having a break down. He says he can''t go till he gets some money and for my own sanity and to ensure my kids don''t have to go through this much longer I feel it''s the only way forward

Tracey xx

questions you need to ask yourself here tracey do you want a divorce ? you speak of seperation but not formal divorce can you work these things out between you ? can you get the remortgage on your salary make an appointment to see a financial adviser and possibly a solicitor take some free advise and see where you go from there good luck