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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Child Maintenance

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11 May 12 #329969 by WYSPECIAL
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Current situation ex left FMH approx a year ago. Children stay with me in fmh 4-5 nights per week and with ex 2-3 nights per week.

She is renting a 3 bed house so, in my opinion, housing needs are met.

I pay mortgage on FMH by myself.

She wants to either buy me out or have me give her a lump sum from equity in FMH so she can buy somewhere instead. No way thats happening without a court order as I feel a mesher type agreement is more appropriate give ages of children.

If I now use CSA to claim CM from her is it likely to strengthen or weaken my position in terms of house and current child care arrangements as obviously it will increase my income and decrease hers?

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11 May 12 #329993 by cookie2
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Going to the CSA will not strengthen or weaken your position.

You can''t just kick her out with nothing though. She will be entitled to some share of the equity in the house. You can''t just say "oh you are renting a flat so I get to keep all the money on the marital home". That is simply not fair.

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11 May 12 #330019 by WYSPECIAL
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No I appreciate that I can''t leave her nothing and fully accept that in the fullness of time I will have to buy her out or sell up or if we divorce come to some kind of settlement. I can''t afford to do so at present as I work part time to look after the children and need the use of the FMH to house them.

I don''t need to kick her out she has long since gone of her own accord!

If I seek CM from her then obviously this will increase my disposable income and in theory my ability to buy her out. But on the other hand it will diminish her borrowing capacity to buy somewhere. Would a court expect me to spend this extra income on buying her out?

If anything I''m more saying "You''re renting somewhere and I need the use of the FMH for the next few years and can afford to run it on my own so should be allowed to."

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11 May 12 #330024 by cookie2
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WYSPECIAL wrote:

I can''t afford to do so at present

Well, you may have little choice if she files for divorce and applies to court for Ancillary Relief. Burying your head and hoping for the best is seldom a good tactic. She will no doubt do this when the situation or circumstances favour HER. Say just after she''s lost her job or been kicked out of her flat or got knocked up and ditched by some other dude? Or just after you meet Scarlett Johanssen on the train and decide to shack up together? If any of those things happen you will WISH you had sorted things out now, while the figures are stacked in your favour.

Would a court expect me to spend this extra income on buying her out?

A court would expect you to spend child maintenance on the children.

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11 May 12 #330039 by WYSPECIAL
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So would I be better off seeking a divorce myself and asking for a mesher order as part of the ancillary relief?

Can''t see me shacking up with Scarlett (not again lol) but given the examples you gave of the ex''s potential misfortune surely housing the children would remain the number one priority?

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11 May 12 #330045 by cookie2
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People don''t usually ask for a Mesher. They''re a last resort if other options are not viable (eg straight buyout, transfer etc). Meshers are problematic because they do not solve the problem of where you will live, they just delay it.

Yes housing the children would still be the number one priority but if her needs increase or means decrease, then it certainly won''t help your case.Particularly if she gets knocked up. Then there will be another child to consider.

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11 May 12 #330058 by WYSPECIAL
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Crikey thats a scarey thought.

Would either of us have grounds for a divorce? Not long enough for seperation but too long for UB? Or is her leaving UB in itelf? I was rather hoping she would Petition at some stage in the future to save me the cost but maybe it would be an investment.

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