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Fuming!

  • Saffs
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13 May 12 #330346 by Saffs
Topic started by Saffs
Need to rant....ex has alternate weekend contact Friday to Sunday night when he brings them back at 5-6 for dinner. At 7 still no boys, ex not picking up phone. Get an email after 7am to say "boys fine and fed. Will drop them off at 8am tomorrow". No discusion or anything! My son starts his SATS exams tomorrow and they are camping tonight at OW. Am i being irrational or is this just completely irresponsible?!
Worst thing is he is not picking up phone all weekend so cant speak to them. They have no school uniforms etc with them either. fuming!

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13 May 12 #330354 by redwine47
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I wld be very annoyed! Don''t know all the circumstances.

But wotever happens keep things normal as possible on your side... The children cannot be under pressure especially at a time like this

Easier said than done BUT Fight the battle another time. RW
Xx

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13 May 12 #330361 by Saffs
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Thanks for reply...yup...another "suck it up moment" when all I really want to do is .....well best not put my thoughts in words!!

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13 May 12 #330367 by u6c00
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Don''t know the circumstances of your contact arrangements, but there are two things to consider:

1. The immediate future. That means looking after the kids, possibly dropping their school uniforms off at school so that they are not isolated in school or standing out.

2. The long term implications. This probably means making it clear that it is totally unacceptable, against the children''s best interests etc.

I don''t know if looking at setting up defined contact, getting an order etc is a practical or wise idea, but if you cannot trust your ex to keep to a verbal agreement you might have to have something more formal.

Hope it all turns out, you''re right to be extremely angry, I would be too! Just keep your attention on what your kids will need tomorrow. Hope he does well in his SATs!

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13 May 12 #330368 by redwine47
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I know how you feel... been there, done it and still wearing the tshirt.
I ve made the mistakes by reacting to quickly to stbx & realised the children r the ones that suffer. We''ve got to be mature, it''s very difficult but do definitely deal with the situation. but not at children''s cost

.... Deep breaths & calmness.... Good luck x

:dry:

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13 May 12 #330376 by Saffs
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thanks guys!
we have had the same contact agreement for over a year. He also has midweek overnight contact. (this is all in statement of arrangements in Decree Nisi....whatever that is worth!
If he had discussed it or it had been any other weekend rather than before SATS would not have been so bad.
also waited for 2 hours before I knew what he was doing.....whilst thinking the worst!
This is typical tho...he was hour late picking them up Friday...his reason...he was walking the dog! Sadly he does not see the impact on the kids.
Oldest is a real worrier so I will have to be extra calm and non stressy tomorrow,,,oscars here I come. I will address the issues via email with ex as you do!

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14 May 12 #330398 by cookie2
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saffa wrote:

This is typical tho...he was hour late picking them up Friday...his reason...he was walking the dog! Sadly he does not see the impact on the kids.

I would tell him that this is not acceptable. Tell him that if he is more than an hour late collecting them without GOOD reason, then they will be staying with you. Tell him that if they are not delivered back within 1 hour of the drop-off time, then they will not be going with him next time.

Keep a diary of these occurances so you can see exactly how regular they are. It''s hard to recall when it seems like "all the time". If it''s written down, you''ll be able to get a clearer picture.

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