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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Marital Home etc

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15 May 12 #330620 by cookie2
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paraclete wrote:

Guess we could release up to £100k in equity by downsizing to a 4-bed, depending on exactly where she wants this 4-bed to be (does she get a choice?).

That sounds like the ideal solution, then. You would have £100k with which to re-house and she would have £200k of the equity. A 66/33 split is reasonably favourable in these circumstances. She could choose to live wherever she likes with her £200k.

Note though that the house is in the middle (beginning) of a makeover, and needs considerable work done in order to become saleable.

Any house is saleable and has a current market value. It just might be a bit lower than you''d like due to its condition. If you want to do work to get a higher value then that is up to you, but any house CAN be sold in its current state. It may be worth looking at the figures or getting the advice of an estate agent.

Should clarify that there is no long history of living in a non-rented house. We bought in December last year but, prior to that, had lived in rental for 9.5 years. Does this make a difference?

No, I doubt it will make a difference. A history is not the only factor.

Will my income be classified as £12k pa, which is what I pay myself, or £130k, which is roughly what the turnover has been in the last 12 months?

I am not an expert on self-employment but I think this will depend on the nature of the business. If it is simply a shell company for you to operate as a contractor (having no assets, expenditure or employees, payrolls etc) then it will simply be regarded as an earning vehicle, and all income will be seen as your personal income. If the company buys in stock/supplies, pays a secretary, rents/owns an office building etc, then it would be a different matter. But from what you''ve said so far, it sounds like the former.

Note also that my contract is ending in July, and I am probably going to need to take some time to focus on the divorce etc, and thus will need several months out.

I doubt this will hold any weight. People who are not self-employed cannot simply take a few months off work to deal with a divorce. Getting divorced is not a full-time occupation and normally shouldn''t require more than a couple of hours a week. Many people get divorced (even the full court process) while holding down a full time job.

Have suggested to her that I continue to pay her through the company, as this seems the most tax efficient way of doing so. If I pay myself, then pay her, a portion becomes eroded through tax, and so there is less in the pot to pay with.

Hmm, I think it''s a bit beyond the scope of this forum to advise you how to avoid tax. There may be legal implications ;)

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15 May 12 #330653 by somuch2know2
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''Getting divorced is not a full-time occupation and normally shouldn''t require more than a couple of hours a week. Many people get divorced (even the full court process) while holding down a full time job.''

I think that is part of the problem with women who do not work- they make it their full time job.

I would get yourself a good accountant who can advise on this. I also know of someone who transfered his whole company to his father to run and it is his father who pays him- made a big difference, although I dont know the legalities.

And yes what they say, and mean, are two different things

"I want us to be friends, and find an amicible way to solve this"... really means

"I want all your money, you out of my life, and i will use "for the kids" as my excuse for being a complete vile betch"

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15 May 12 #330703 by paraclete
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Cookie2/SM2K2,

Thanks again for your replies, although the longer the day goes on, the poorer I seem to be. Someone will need to remind me what the point of working is?

First stepson will be off to uni in a couple of years, the other is a year below him at school. Perhaps best option is for her to stay in the house for 2/3 years, then downsize to something more appropriate.

Yes, talking to my accountant seems to be a good option, although that may depress me even more!

My profession is management consultancy, so there are no real assets or employees. I am not always engaged by the same company though; and many of my peers do experience periods where they are not on a contract, so I think it would be unreasonable to multiply my day rate by 200 and pretend that it was my salary.


Thanks again.

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15 May 12 #330706 by somuch2know2
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Depressing isnt it? Even more so when you are expected to house somoene else''s kids. What was she doing before she bagged you?

Speak to an accountant and find out your best, innovative, options. And remember- there is NOTHING fair about divorce. The best thing you can do is find yourself a hot, young girlfriend and have some fun... just dont have too much fun and do something crazy like run off to Vegas and get married!

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15 May 12 #330710 by cookie2
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paraclete wrote:

I think it would be unreasonable to multiply my day rate by 200 and pretend that it was my salary.

Well, you have said yourself that your business has a turnover of £130k. Since there are no outgoings, assets or employees, that is effectively a £130k income for yourself. This is how a divorce court would view it.

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15 May 12 #330711 by paraclete
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yeah, incredibly depressing. What a sad and lonely world.

How odd to think, that just last Friday she was the most important thing in my life. I clearly didn''t know her at all, and should have listened to the people that told me not to.

I just can''t get my head around the lack of shame. How can anyone think this is right? It is tantamount to stealing. I would be too ashamed to try on something like this.

When I met her, she had just split from her first husband. He refused to cede the marital home to her, and so it was sold and the proceeds split.

She has never really worked. She was the archetype eternal student: degree, masters degree, PhD etc. Not sure she has ever worked more than part time.

A month or so back she told me that she had had a really busy day. When I asked what it was, ashe told me: school run, breakfast with another mum, hairdressers, coffee/lunch with friends, then school run again. A busy day for me starts at 6am and ends at 10pm, with no lunch, and barely a chance to go to the toilet. Who makes the rules around here?

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15 May 12 #330714 by somuch2know2
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Lovely- so she is the one who wanted out, ,..with your cash.

You are absolutely correct- it is legalised robbery.

Who makes the rules? Apparently the people.. The majority of voters are women. You want change you have to do more than pout about it on here. Write your MP, write your paper.. make your voice heard

Apparently I am a ''male activist'' but there are plenty of women who support these changes as well. Jump on the bandwagon

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