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Change in Divorce Papers

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17 May 12 #331137 by Passingcat
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Hi there, Last year me and my spouse nearly divorced but we decided to hold off until our daughter did her A Levels and reached 18 years old. We still have the same problems and now more intolerant of each other than ever. We decided two days ago we really must get a divorce now for the sake of sanity but are trying to be as amicable as possible and go for an uncontested divorce. Because I''m the most unhappy after 20 years we decided I should file. I took a look through the new divorce papers and note they have changed dramatically. There is now a much smaller box area to site reasons for unreasonable behavior, whereas before you could write awhole book! Can anyone advise me on how to write the unreasonable behavior in a fashion they will accept and how the new way is written?. Also can anyone give me some examples of unreasonable behavior that will be accepted so if i see one i can relate to i will know how to write it. they are so strict on how everything is written..tysm! :)

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17 May 12 #331141 by cookie2
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The criteria for UB hasn''t changed, it''s just a smaller box. You can attach another sheet if you need room. Overall the new forms are a complete pig''s ear, obviously created by someone with no practical experience of divorce.

As for phrasing the particulars, here is an example, to be copied in style but not content obviously :)

"The respondent regularly leaves the toilet seat up, after the Petitioner told him how much it upsets her. This lead to the petitioner feeling lonely and isolated"

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17 May 12 #331147 by Passingcat
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Hi there, Thanks for your help. A year ago when I saught advice, I was told for each reason there needed to be at least a paragraph followed by ''This has been going on for six on for the last six months and I find it intolerable to live with and continue to do so''
do we really have to drone on then repeat ourselves like a parrot? Any more examples from anyone? especially from people who know how to word things without sounded too hurtful as we want to keep the divorce amicable
some of the probs: always work and no time for me and daughter, i feel lonely, abandoned and isolated...
dismisses all my view points and invalidates my feelings on everything, disrespectful and belittles me
emotionally unsupportive and distant....much much more but hopefully enough 4 you to advise..ty

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17 May 12 #331148 by Passingcat
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even someone who has been sucessful in a DIY Divorce can give me the exact wording if it was fairly brief...that would really help!

I would pay for a solicitor but we are stone broke. I''m hoping to claim the remission fee but the advisor on the phone said hardly anyone is awarded this even though they are entitled to it?

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17 May 12 #331149 by cookie2
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Passingcat wrote:

do we really have to drone on then repeat ourselves like a parrot?

No. That wording is over the top. I don''t know who told you that but it''s too much and unnecessary. 5 or 6 paragraphs just like the one I gave you is perfectly adequate, and it worked just fine for me.

always work and no time for me and daughter, i feel lonely, abandoned and isolated...
dismisses all my view points and invalidates my feelings on everything, disrespectful and belittles me
emotionally unsupportive and distant....

The respondent chooses to spend too much time at work and does not spend time with the family. This has led to the Petitioner feeling lonely and isolated.

The respondent does not appreciate the feelings of the petitioner and will not discuss things in a sensible and rational matter.

much much more but hopefully enough 4 you to advise..ty

If you give us more we can translate into legalese. But you shouldn''t ask other people to describe the reasons your marriage broke down, nobody can know that except you and your husband. You need to give us the reasons, we''ll tell you how to write them up :)

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17 May 12 #331153 by Passingcat
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Hi hi, thanks for your help :)

Sorry, my bad explaining in previous message. What I meant was if people gave me any examples, if any matched my reasonings I would have a good idea how to write them. Of course i realise people can''t give me my reasons but allot of peeps have similar problems so I thought some of mine might match.. tysm for the examples...will 5 sentences be enough or will they want paragraphs? ty :)

quote: Also can anyone give me some examples of unreasonable behavior that will be accepted so if i see one i can relate to i will know how to write it.

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17 May 12 #331158 by cookie2
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Passingcat wrote:

will 5 sentences be enough or will they want paragraphs?

5 or 6 just like I''ve given above are perfect. No need to write any more words than that on each point. Just come up with 3 or 4 more like that and you''re home.

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