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25 May 12 #332983 by Lena3
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Hi. I have filed divorce on the grounds of domestic violence against my husband. The matrimonial home deeds are on his name. The atmosphere in the house is unbearable and I have 8 year old child, my solicitor is advising to move out of the property. I cannot find a 2 bed property for us as most letting agents require a guarantor and nobody is prepared to disclose their financial situation. I managed to find a 1 bed flat today through a housing association and asked my solicitor if it''s ok for us temporarily move in there and received reply from her : ''''It would not be acceptable for you and your child to sleep in the same room so it would have to be on the basis that your child sleeps in the bed room and you slept in another room. I would still not advise it however as clearly the arrangement would not be satisfactory when there is a house your child could stay in with more room.'''' So, does it mean that if the case goes to court they can decide to leave my son to live in a 3 bedroom house with an abusive father? Thank you so much. Elena

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25 May 12 #332985 by epitome title
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Hi

What an awful situation - forgive me but surely if you are in danger of violence, it would be more acceptable for your husband to move out? I realise that would possibly be easier said that done to achieve but I am surprised your solicitor has not approached it that way given you have a child - is your husband represented by a solicitor?

Kind regards

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25 May 12 #333017 by Lena3
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Hi epitome title, thank you for your reply.
Yes, he is represented by a solicitor and my solicitor is legal aid based, so I would also think she would have to approach this like you are saying, but she says there''s no physical violence, although horrible mental and psychological abuse.

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26 May 12 #333018 by epitome title
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Hi Lena

I was in a situation where I was living with my husband in his house with my (grown up) son - I had my own house (where my daughter was living) all a bit complicated however my name was not on title to his house and his was not on mine

He was aggressive towards me (at the time not physically) however my solicitor informed his that if his behaviour continued, he would get an order in place to remove my husband from his own house. Needless to say he toned it down but I was in the lucky situation when it got too bad, my son and I moved out - but the fact remained my solicitor was prepared to have him removed from the house

Surely your situation must be different in that your child is only 8 years old.

I know that your solicitor is acting for you on a legal aid basis but have you tried "giving her instructions" ie telling her that this situation is no good for you and your child and regardless that there is no physical aggresion at the moment that there is mental abuse and therefore he should move out, I find it wrong that she is saying that you should move out

Just because your name is not on the title, it is the marital home and you have a right to be there whether he believes that or not - i think once you get a bit further into the process, he will get quite a wake up call

I hope you are ok and keep posting,

xxx

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26 May 12 #333020 by Lena3
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Dear epitome title,thank you for your reply.
My solicitor is saying that he will continue his harrassment intil me and son have moved out. He denies all allegations of psychological and mental abuse against me and son. Today he said to me ''''If you don''t move out within a month, I will turn your life into hell'''', he constantly threatens and blackmails me.

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26 May 12 #333022 by epitome title
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Hi

bless you, gosh she doesn''t seem to be looking for a solution for you does she

Do you work? could you keep a diary of his behaviour towards you? but keep it where he will not find it - keep dates and times and what he says to you and your son and how he is towards you - I did that for a while, it doesn''t look nice written down but I know that my diary was the reason my solicitor took such a strong line with his solicitor over my husband''s behaviour

Plus when it comes to the court side of things, you will have it to show the way your husband has treated you and your son. it won''t really come into play unless you end up going through the courts to final hearing but it may help you to get your solicitor to understand what you are going through and spur her on to help you

Kind regards
xx

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26 May 12 #333024 by Lena3
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Hi,
Yes, I work part time. I keep a diary of his behaviour, she writes to his solicitor about what I told her and apparently as he said to me his solicitor just ''''throws the letters in a bin without reading them''''. She does know what is going on here and tells me that we are going round in circles. But, I think she just doesn''t want to take any legal measures to help me and my son.What would you advise, should I speak to her about this?

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