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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

mediation help

  • justmekim
  • justmekim's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
31 May 12 #334416 by justmekim
Topic started by justmekim
I have just got my date for mediation, it is in 4 weeks.
I have been divorced for just over a year and still live in the same house, well I live in my bedroom. My ex has always been a complete control freak and I am his 3rd wife, I know should have seen the signs. well after 25years i said no more, My questions are how do I conduct myself and how do i get the best deal for me. We agreed a 50/50 split but just a few months ago after an offer on the house he now wants 60/40, our daughter wants to live with him as he spends spends spends on her and she loves it, I will not buy my daughter who is 16 and she dont like it. He is saying that he needs all the extra to keep her but I know that all he wants is a better postal addy. How do I make my case I feel as though I am drowning and nobdy is there to rescue me.
thats it for now

  • LittleMrMike
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  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
01 Jun 12 #334439 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
It''s always a bit tricky to answer a question like this without the full facts. So let me give you a few generalisations.
The main concern of the Courts is
(a) to make sure that both of you have homes ; and
(b) in particular to make sure that your child has a roof over her head.
In the vast majority of cases, the children live with their mother, sometimes out of choice and at other times, because they are too young to express a view.
I get a feeling that your daughter might want to go and live with him. And as she is 16 her views and wishes would carry some weight. Mind you, of course, at 16 a child is not perhaps all that dependent.
The point is that I think it could be crucial where your daughter chooses to live. Ideally, both of you should have homes big enough to let her stay overnight with both parents.
Now I think you need to be pretty clear in your own mind what you want out of a divorce, and to do that you need a reasonable idea of what is realistic.
I can''t give you that without more information. It may be that a chat on the phone some time could help. But both of you need to put your financial cards on the table.
I don''t think there''s likely to be anything to worry about with your first meeting. This is likely to be purely exploratory to give the mediator a general idea of your finances.

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