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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Groundhog day

  • chevy
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01 Jun 12 #334608 by chevy
Topic started by chevy
Hi All

Quick update. I found out my wife was having an affair 18 months ago. What followed was plenty of lies and what felt like torture to me. We never moved away during all this and eventually got back together again last May. We split again in Sept because I found om email hidden in her phone. She filed for divorce claiming my unreasonable behaviour. Received the divorce papers xmas week.

Anyhow...Boxing day she asked me to move back into our bed and said she made a mistake and didn''t want to divorce or go through it all ever again. What followed was 4 months of happiness again with me correcting all the things she complained about and basically trying to take all the stresses out of her life??

4 weeks ago she told me she had to have an std test due to a drunken fling before xmas when we had split up????
3 weeks ago she said she didnt love me anymore but didn''t want a divorce or me to move out.
2 weeks ago she asked me to move out and when I said no she said she was going to a solicitor.
Today I received a letter asking me to go to a mediator.

How confused am I :huh:

  • Lostboy67
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02 Jun 12 #334610 by Lostboy67
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Hi
Reading between the lines of her actions she has been hedging her bets with you, she probably had an afair that ended before Christmas, and may well have resumed that now or started a new one. Basically keeping you hanging around until she finally descided that you were surplus to requirements...its not suprising you feel confused.
Good step not to move out and don''t. Do you know what the visit to the mediator is to discuss.

LB

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02 Jun 12 #334611 by chevy
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Hi
Can only think to discuss the house and kids. She told me she''s not moving out because the kids need to stay in their home.
er..what about me? can I not stay in the house with the kids and you do one.
She seems to be getting more pee''d off with me by the day because I am not bowing to her wishes.

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02 Jun 12 #334612 by Lostboy67
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Hi Chevy,
Yes its a common theme...."I want out so you f**k off", best advice is to not raise to any arguments. Focus on building your relationship with your kids, and don''t move out.

You are of course being totally unreasonable in not bowing to her wishes, welcome to the club on that one, but the advice as always is not to move out.

No doubt you''ll hear the ''Its in the kids best interests'' which is the Godwin''s law if divorce...

LB

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02 Jun 12 #334614 by stepper
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She may possibly engineer an argument and then call the police about you. It happened to my son and that is how he came to leave the marital home. The boyfriend moved in a few weeks later.

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11 Jul 12 #342402 by Himalaya
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I will be N odd one then my husband walked out doesn''t even see the kids he resigned from the job while I was e ailing him to come back N stay with kids while I would have found myself a sharing accommodation

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12 Jul 12 #342823 by chevy
Reply from chevy
Well,
A few weeks since the last update and things are as f*ked up as ever. Went to a solicitor to seek advice and he was very good and told me things where''nt as bad as i thought they where going to be. He told me she wont necessarily get the house and i needed somewhere to live big enough for the kids staying over or if she wanted a divorce she should move out.
I gave him the divorce petition i received, which happens to be the old one dragged out of the courts, and he advised that we tell her solicitor that the reasons should be void due to us getting back together and cohabiting again since december.
Since then i have heard nothing till i received a letter today off the courts saying that they have agreed with the bull she has wrote and i should pay her costs??? All this after we have been getting on better, slept together and had a night out together :S:silly::blink:
What should i expect now? Is there even a point anymore of paying for a solicitor if it looks like i am screwed anyway???

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