thank you dukey...to get a decent house here and by that i mean not going mad or being unfair would cost around 200k for 2bed small house...we did go to mediation and his offer for everything was 80k..even the mediator told him he would have to pay way more than that..she did try to get him to offset his pension and spousal maintance against the house..in order for me to have it....but he wont agree to anything..as i said before he thinks i should have nothing..even though i paid full amount on mort for 12yrs...my solicitor has said mine is a needs case..he hasnt helped me financally at all...spends all his money on gf and hides to rest..im renting a room at the moment until all this sorted not ideal but he wont budge:(
Its a classic problem soobee, he wont listen to you the mediator or even your solicitor, that tends to melt away in court.
An offer of 80k and thats it is silly.
It is a needs case and as such the judge is looking how to best use what you both have given your circumstances.
Your both quite young, he earns x5 what you earn and you have poor health, its bodes badly for him if it ends in court.
The other danger for him in court is the judge may consider his age and income potential makes him recoverable, what this means is he could be skinned on the basis he will recover the loss in a reasonable time, you on the other hand will never earn what he does so could never recover as he can.
We see this on wiki fairly often, on the face of it the guy gets mullered in court maybe walking away with 30% globally, seems unfair but the fact is the judge needs to use what they have for the benefit of the family.
If i was him my main worry''s would be
Will the judge share the pension to equalise income upon retirement if so he could lose a huge chunk of it.
Will the judge order maintenance for life based on the length of marriage his high income your health and modest income.
Will the judge decide the wife needs to be mortgage free.
So what could happen is you end up with say 200k for a house he keeps the savings but has to pay SM for life and then you get the lions share of the final salary pension.
If i was him i would be armed with flowers and chocolates on bended knee asking if you would consider staying out of court.
He also needs to be aware that if a person drags a financial application though court and the judge decides the have wasted the other sides money by pushing a meritless case through he could also end up with your legal bill.
I went through the court process with a woman a couple of years ago, her ex hubby was asked at FH by the judge what do feel is reasonable, to start with he said nothing i was the bread winner, i suppose because he was self repping the judge explained a few things to him, so he then offered half the equity once the house was sold but he kept the pension and cash, the judge gave no reaction, back then i was still green and thought crap this has gone all wrong the judge will go with his proposal.
A month later the judgment came, she got all of the house with no order for sale 70% of his large pension and SM for ten years, he got what was left of the pension and the cash, he appealed and lost, and was hit with costs.
The moral of the story is listen to those who know, he could afford a solicitor but was so arrogant he thought he could do a better job without, he refused to listen to the judge at FDR still thinking he would "win", he said stupid stuff to the judge, the classic was no judge in the land will take my pension its mine i earned it, same with the cash savings, he was oh so wrong.
The irony is his ex wife never wanted to go to court, she was actually worried it would go badly for him given his income and age and the fact she was older not well and earned peanuts.
Thankfully most people settle at FDR once the judge gives some advice, why anyone would ignore the judge at FDR is beyond me, but it can end up being very costly for those that do.