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Left alone to look after children (not mine)

  • Stratocaster
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  • Elite Member
02 Jun 12 #334650 by Stratocaster
Topic started by Stratocaster
My stbx has left me several times alone to look after our 2 children AND the 2 children belonging to her sister.

I have no objection to looking after my own children but I feel it is unreasonable anf irresponsible for her to leave the home without arranging this with me beforehand and not even telling me she is going out.

As we are not on speaking terms (although still in the same home) I want to put this grievance in writing in an email to her so she can show her solicitor in order to give a considered response. Is this a good idea or am I acting in annoyance with her?

My proposed letter is:

Today once again you have left me alone to look after not only my own 2 children but also the 2 children belonging to your sister. You did not discuss arrangements with me in advance and made no indication at all that you were leaving the home and expecting me to look after them all.

I have no objection at all to look after my own children but I feel it is entirely unreasonable and irresponsible that you would leave other peoples children in my care without discussing it with me in advance.

Who do you consider to be responsible for your sisters children if they get hurt?

This has happened too many times and has had a significant impact on my work duties for as you know I work from home and have deadlines to meet, failure to meet these deadlines will result in ruining my reputation for being reliable and losing potential income.

I do not understand why you have done this despite raising this with you inperson and on my divorce petition as an example of your unreasonable and intolerable behaviour.

Can you confirm what the reason was that on this occasion you have left your sisters children in my care without my permission?

  • mumtoboys
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02 Jun 12 #334665 by mumtoboys
Reply from mumtoboys
I think it might help to know whether or not the two children that aren''t yours live with you full-time or whether they are just visiting?

is your wife going out as in popping out to the shops for a couple of hours or going out and not returning for several days?

  • Stratocaster
  • Stratocaster's Avatar Posted by
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02 Jun 12 #334678 by Stratocaster
Reply from Stratocaster
The 2 children who are not mine dont live here although they often stay overnight. It used to be that my stbx would leave them for me to look after while she and her sister went out at night, however, after I made several complaints to her about this she stopped that.

Now she leaves them here while she goes out, I dont know where she goes, she wont tell me. If it is shopping it is not for the household, possibly it is for her clothes.

I hope this helps.


  • WYSPECIAL's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
02 Jun 12 #334679 by WYSPECIAL
Reply from WYSPECIAL
Why don''t you tell your sister in law what is happening and point out that you are not prepared to look after them and that she needs to make other arrangements?

  • Stratocaster
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04 Jun 12 #335066 by Stratocaster
Reply from Stratocaster
Put simply my relationship is so bad with my stbx that I cant do that.

I constantly feel I am being taken advantage of in terms of being expected to look after someone else''s children. On occasions it has been the children of my stbx friends.

Is it me or is this just wrong?

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

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