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Wife is delaying divorce - Please Help!!

  • BrokenArrow123
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12 Jun 12 #336241 by BrokenArrow123
Topic started by BrokenArrow123
Hi, can someone please offer me some advice?

My wife threw me out 16 months ago, as she "needed space"!! I subsequently found out she was having an affair! In August of last year, I moved back into the marital home alone as she moved in to rented property with her new man and our son. She applied for divorce in October, to which I responded accordingly and immediately.

The problem is that since the end of January, the divorce seems to have come to a standstill. I ask her almost every week what is going on, to which I get the reply "I''ll sort it" or "don''t worry, you''ll be hearing from my solicitor!" However, i have still heard nothing for 5 months.

We have no savings, our joint account is in its overdraft, and our joint mortgage is in negative equity. I have my son 3 nights a week. When she moved out of the marital home, she stripped all the furniture and took it with her, so there is nothing to divide.

I have racked my brains over and over, but can see no reason why she is delaying things, so please (before I go insane), can anyone offer advice or ideas as to what she is playing at?

She still lives with her new man, and very maturely has changed to her Maiden Name on Facebook and Twitter. So why wont she give me the closure I need in a divorce?

Anything offered will be gratefully received!

  • dukey
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12 Jun 12 #336242 by dukey
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It sounds as though nothing has happened since the divorce application, i suppose you could cross Petition (hmmm the powers that be have now decided petition should be divorce application though no one seems to have taken the slightest notice).

If a person asks court for a divorce but then goes on to do little or nothing about it the person being asked for the divorce can make their own application and at the same time ask court to cancel the first Petition, (for want of prosecution)the problem is it will cost you money and it sounds like money is quite tight, the other issue is how would your ex react, probably not that well even though she asked for the divorce.

Why not have a chat with her and ask if it would be more helpful for you to do with the divorce and make application.

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12 Jun 12 #336243 by BrokenArrow123
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Thanks for the advice dukey.

I have toyed with the idea of divorcing her, however, due to financial constraints, this simply isnt possible. Every time i try to ask about the divorce, I get dismissed, and she refuses to talk about it, saying it is in the solicitors hands now, (which quite clearly it isnt).

I just feel like I am stuck in limbo. All I want is to draw a line under things and get on with my life, but until I am divorced, I just cant seem to.

My main issue is WHY she wont continue with the divorce?? As I said, she lives with her new man, calls herself by her Maiden Name, but wont divorce me. its just so confusing!

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12 Jun 12 #336244 by dukey
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Nothing sounds sinister here, if there was wiki`s would be sending warnings, it seems to be just a case of ill do it when i do it, could it be the solicitors costs putting her off, if its a high street solicitor your talking £1000 maybe more.

  • hadenoughnow
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12 Jun 12 #336252 by hadenoughnow
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Have you had an actual Petition to acknowledge?? Have you agreed who is to pay costs? do you know of it has gone to the court?
If she has just said she will divorce you and you have agreed, that does not mean things are in train. If this is so, you could issue your own Petition. If money is an issue you could use a service like Wiki and agree to split court costs.

Hadenoughnow

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12 Jun 12 #336257 by BrokenArrow123
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Had the divorce petition months ago. Agreed the marriage had irretrievably broken down, and responded through solicitor. Since then, my solicitor has been sending a letter every fortnight to her solicitor asking where things stand, only to either get no reply, or "we await our clients instructions".

Its quite ironic as I have just had a phonecall from her now about something relating to our son, so I asked her what was the hold up. She replied "I am waiting to hear the same as you", when I asked what she meant by that, her response was "I WILL CHASE THEM UP TODAY! JUST GIVE ME A BREAK WILL YOU" and she hung up..........

The puzzling thing is, she left me, she had the affair, she moved in with another guy, yet she is delaying the divorce.

  • cookie2
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12 Jun 12 #336269 by cookie2
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It sounds as though she just has a case of can''t be arsed. She has no motivation to do anything, after all. She is quite happy to maintain the status quo and why wouldn''t she? You are presumably paying the mortgage and bills for the FMH and she is happy as a pig in muck living with her new guy. So why would she bother to pull her finger out, and spend her hard earned (or not so hard earned) money and time on solicitors and courts?

The lack reply from her solicitor or "we await instructions", most likely means, "she has not paid us, so we are not going to do anything". But of course they can''t actually say that because their bills are a private matter. But believe me that is the most likely explanation.

Did you actually get a divorce petition from the court, or just a draft from her solicitor?

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