Is this a fair settlement?

Hi Maisymoos,

You are right, this may be a talking point. I understand that it is a big ask. I have the flexibility with work so that I can drop the kids off to school (I do this anyway), and I can make arrangements to pick the children up on the days I need to. I expect the eldest isn''t going to be interested in seeing me too much anyway, as it''s all about her friends at the moment, so 50/50 might be a problem there.

Would it matter that she is not my biological child?

What would the effect on my settlement be if my wife insisted on every other weekend and one night in the week?

Can anyone suggest a reasonable settlement on these terms with what I have available?

Dukey, you are right I really don''t want this to be contested as I feel at my age I am going to find it hard to move on.

Bob...

The idea of horse trading start high and hope to meet in the middle can and does backfire, if the other side consider your offer unreasonable you risk them filing form A and kicking it off in court.

Given your age income and assets, and what seems to be a proposal for 50-50 with the kids the last place you want to be is in court, if your wife says no to shared care you could get royally stuffed in court leaving with orders for sale of the rentals and virtually nothing in your wallet.

As you say you have spoken to others who think starting high is the way to go, personally i think a sound and workable offer is the way to go, at least then you can back it up with reasoning should you find yourself in court, ok so some will say you have nothing to lose just make without prejudice offers but often that only serves to sour the milk, the aim should always be to negotiate a reasonable settlement and stay out of court, unless you like high stakes poker games, if you do i don`t fancy your hand one bit.

Hi Dukey,

Thanks for the response to my PM.

I think I agree with your perspective on this. So I guess that my offer is still a very good starting point with the wife to stay out of the court room.

And as you have said if it ends up in a court room there could be some justification put forward.

Regards

Bob

What is the £460 CM based on? CSA rate is 20% of your net income for two children adjusted for the overnight stays that you have the children. You don''t need to pay CM for the eldest unless you have adopted?

Does the natural father of the oldest child pay CM to your wife?

It''s the current CETV of the pensions that counts not what they will eventually pay out.

Obvious thing to me is you are offering your wife less than half of the assets. She gets the £80k in the FMH but you keep the £100k in the rental properties.

Do the rental properties produce an income or just cover the mortgage payments on them? Bear in mind having rental properties could cost you when CSA become involved.

Bob

It a reasonable offer and is workable more importantly you want to keep the rentals, and why not sale prices are rock bottom, and you can provide a rational behind the offer.

This is of course only my opinion many will not agree, the big question is will you really have the children half the time, or even a fair amount of time, in court the first question the judge always has is how do i house the children, almost always everything else is secondary to that, if the judge decides the best way to accomplish the first aim of housing the children is to sell the rentals and release equity then that is what will happen.

Talk lots be open minded and listen to the mediator, its your best hope of a reasonable outcome, ive seen guys in your circumstances do very badly in court, loads of wikis could give you details of cases that will make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, you Mr are of a recoverable age.

Thanks Dukey, WYS for your input.

The eldest child is not my biological child, but I thought that this was neither here nor there. I have always thought of her as mine and would be prepared to pay for her if this goes in my favour on the asset front.

The rental properties are generating an income, but maybe if I moved into one of them (although they are only 2 beds, and I need a 3 for the kids) this would half the rental income if I chose to move into the right one.

I would hope to stay in the area, and have them all weekends, half of the school holidays and some nights in the week. I am local to the school and can easily drop off ect, collection though is not so easy if more than 1/2 day a week.

I wouldn''t expect the eldest to stay with me much as she would probably want to be close to her friends, although they would only be down the road.

Ultimately, I would like to keep the rentals and not end up with spousal maintenance.

If anyone has an idea on what the settlement should look like then I would be more than grateful for the input.

Bob

You are unlikely to be able to have the children all weekends. It''s generally considered only fair for both parents to get some of the fun time with the children. If you only have the children during the week then the whole time is dominated by school and homework etc.

If you are really committed to having the children half the time, how about alternate weeks? It might not work for the eldest but could for the others. It''s usually better than chopping and changing around every couple of nights.

Best wishes,
Sadie