A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Divorce Reasons - How many do you need?

  • Winnie81
  • Winnie81's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
18 Jun 12 #337447 by Winnie81
Topic started by Winnie81
Hi

I''ve just got my "draft" divorce papers from the solicitor. I am going for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. My solicitor has drafted the document and there are 8 points down lettered a to h. Do I need to have that many? should I be putting less in? The solicitor hasn''t really made it clear if I need to pick a few or what. There are probably 2 that I could take out leaving 6 but is that still too many or would that be OK?
Any advice on this would be really helpful. I know this may sound weird, but this is really quite stressful being the Petitioner, as I understand it would be for the respondent. But having to think about everything and try and compile reasons is hard to do.
I hope someone could give me some advice please, I am so confused! Many thanks

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
18 Jun 12 #337451 by dukey
Reply from dukey
It''s not really about how many reasons you have it''s more about why the marriage broke down, for example domestic violence alone would be reason for the judge to allow the divorce, often though why the marriage ended is far less clear, in that case you need to think about what went wrong, working too much arguing not talking lack of sex harsh or embaresing comments swearing drinking an inappropriate relationship, they are all valid, the solicitor should be able to guide you.

  • sim5355
  • sim5355's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
18 Jun 12 #337453 by sim5355
Reply from sim5355
hi! winnie81 i would feel in as many points as possible ,remember its about what you feel about his behaviour ,it does not matter if some people think it is silly as i know sometimes it can just be a look that''s make you uneasy

  • Jamsandwiches
  • Jamsandwiches's Avatar
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
28 Jun 12 #339756 by Jamsandwiches
Reply from Jamsandwiches
hi there, any chance you can give example and did you have to include dates? ty

  • Winnie81
  • Winnie81's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
28 Jun 12 #339757 by Winnie81
Reply from Winnie81
Hi

I put down things like he used to spend most days on the computer, whilst I was at work and then still be on the computer when I got home and make me feel like I was bugging him if I talked to him. This made me feel neglected etc.

He didn''t like me having friends, used to make comments about them, saying they weren''t nice people and also that I didn''t deserve to have friends as I wasn''t a nice person.

He used to question what I was wearing for work, comment on me wearing make up, perfume, put me down about the way I looked etc.


That kind of thing. These were all general things as I didn''t want to antagonise my husband by putting down specific incidents so I went for the gentler approach.

To be honest I wish that I had been more honest now and put specific incidents because my husband is saying that he is going to contest it and not sign the papers etc. They are due to go to court next week, then he will receive a copy of them. I''m dreading it to be honest!

  • Jamsandwiches
  • Jamsandwiches's Avatar
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
28 Jun 12 #339760 by Jamsandwiches
Reply from Jamsandwiches
Sorry to hear that. Yes, I''m having to be careful and we sat down to agree some beforehand. Been a nightmare though to get him to agree an uncontested divorce..hopefully everything will calm down and everything will run better for you. hugs

ps: do you know if we have to include dates in the reasons? ty

  • Winnie81
  • Winnie81's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
28 Jun 12 #339761 by Winnie81
Reply from Winnie81
Hi

Sorry, I don''t think it''s a major issue if you don''t include dates no.

As far as I understand it, as long as the court can see that the marriage has broken down then they are happy to put the divorce through, if that makes sense.

Thank you for your support and I hope it all goes well with you. It sounds like you are on better terms with your ex than I am.

Take care and thanks again

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11