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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

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A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Stop STBX contacting me?

  • SilverFir
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19 Jun 12 #337546 by SilverFir
Topic started by SilverFir
I have good reasons for not wishing to be contacted directly by my Ex, and have been rejecting Recorded Delivery items from him. (For some reason his solicitor has not made contact.)

I would write and ask him to desist but he would probably reject my correspondence too.

Does anybody have a suggestion for a free way to stop him sending something to my work? It''s a huge office and they sign for all deliveries end masses so can''t help. If I personally don''t sign for an envelope, am I deemed to have received it?

  • NoWhereToTurnl
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19 Jun 12 #337552 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Hi Silver Fir,

If it is signed for, it is traceable to having been delivered to the address it was sent to. As the office are unable to help, it will be deemed that you have received it.

I am not sure how it works but you could talk to the sorting office (Royal Mail)& explain that deliveries at work are not allowed, it would of course affect all to be signed for items with your name on them if they can stop them at source.

Sorry not much help there :(

  • jslgb
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19 Jun 12 #337563 by jslgb
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Hi Silverfir,

Can you not just plaster his address on the items and mark return to sender? Surely if you do this enough times he will get the picture? Do you have children together? Can you not ask the police to warn him off on the basis of harassment? Especially if he is beginning to send things to you at work.

Best wishes

  • cookie2
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19 Jun 12 #337577 by cookie2
Reply from cookie2
Why don''t you want him to send things to you? What is he sending? Are you trying to avoid being served with a divorce petition?

  • SilverFir
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19 Jun 12 #337643 by SilverFir
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Isn''t it enough that I have reason? No, I am not trying to avoid a Petition - I''d flippin'' welcome that, it would be progress. He''s trying to offload debts that aren''t mine to take; and sends verbally abusive messages. I may take those to the Police, see if they can do anything to warn him off.

No children involved btw. He just doesn''t have a life.

I shall keep returning to sender.

  • Emma8485
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19 Jun 12 #337672 by Emma8485
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I dont think Cookie was out to offend - it is a case where perhaps the reasons and the material being sent is relevant.

For example - if someone was sending their ex the kids school reports, details of joint liabilities etc then this perhaps wouldnt be considered unreasonable

If they were sending written abuse and death threats it would be a police matter

I think thats why sometimes the detail will help people to give you accurate and informed answers.

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20 Jun 12 #337765 by cookie2
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Indeed not trying to upset, it''s just that I think your response should depend on the reasons. If you were trying to avoid service or court papers then it would be a very different situation than not wanting to hear his rubbish.

Anything directly from him, just put in a big box unopened. As long as you keep returning them, he knows you''re reacting and will continue... as you''ve found out. Anything from a debtor or debt company, if it''s in his name, return to sender (it is illegal to open other people''s mail). If it''s in your name then you should open it and ring the company to explain the situation - you don''t want your credit rating ruined.

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