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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


  • Dee Dee 42
  • Dee Dee 42's Avatar Posted by
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26 Jun 12 #339376 by Dee Dee 42
Topic started by Dee Dee 42
Well here i am visiting this site once again,after finding it so helpfull after my divorce last year.

And am desperate for some advice once again.

Basically i have met a lovely man,and found happiness once again,he like me has had an unhappy marriage for years and left his wife in aug 2011,he started divorce proceeedings and had his Decree Nisi on 25th february.

He went to live with some friends but moved out in january this year and moved back into the family home spare room,as solicitor advised him not to move out.

It has now come time to sort the finances out so he can get his Absolute and move on.

The solicitor bill is now at around £2,000,and he is not eligible to legal aid and has since lost his job,and he can no longer afford to keep paying,so has halted the solicitor.

they cant seem to agree on finances,he wants a 50/50 split on the home,which has mo mortgage,but the wife has debts of around £14,000,another thing to add is he built the house and has one more room to complete,which the estate agent has said will be in their favour to finish,as is stands the house unfinished would be around £240,000 but finshed around £420,000.
He now wants to sort the Consent Order,get his absolute and finish the house when he can.

but due to funds everything halts,he is very depressed living in this one room and feels nobody can move on,so can anyone advice.

Can he get his absolute without consent order?
Is there a date when decree nisi expires?

Do they both have to agree to consent order if he was to finish things through the wiki site.

he has been advised not to move in with me as claims could be made against me,and he doesent want to jeapordise that i have.

with thanks in advance


  • LittleMrMike
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27 Jun 12 #339420 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
You ask if you can get the Decree Absolute without settling the finances. The answer to this question is yes. Ideally the finances ought to be settled when the marriage comes to an end. But this world is not perfect. The fact of having a new partner may, in practice, make financial negotiations much harder because the ex wife may be resentful and therefore not too inclined to co-operate.

Your second question is whether there is a time limit on a decree Nisi. Er, yes and no. In theory there is not, but if the decree is more than twelve months old it is no longer automatic that an absolute would be granted with no questions asked. In some cases a length delay in applying for the absolute might indicate the possibility of a reconciliation, which, if the ground for divorce was adultery, might mean the ground was no longer available.

Thirdly, it may seem like a statement of the blindingly obvious, but you cannot have a consent order without consent. So you have to agree first and after that doing the consent order is relatively easy.

Fourthly, your own income and assets are safe. You are not a party to the divorce and the Court cannot attack your assets directly. However it could affect his position quite a bit. It will be assumed that you will pay your fair share of the household bills and to that extent your new partner will not need to buy or rent accommodation on his own account.

This will, almost inevitably, weaken any claim he might have against the former marital home, simply because his housing needs would have been met and all the Court has to consider is the needs of the wife. So, indirectly, you could be sucked into it, and you might be asked to give evidence as to your means.

And if you get married it is absolutely crucial that any financial claims your new partner might wish to make are made BEFORE he applies for the decree Absolute. I know using capital letters in this kind of thing is not done, but if he hasn''t made any claims, he must do it before marriage and not afterwards.

Now, your new partner has a problem. I think it''s rather like what Magnus Magnusson used to say, I''ve started so I''ll finish. But he may not want to complete the work before the finances have been sorted, otherwise he might have zilch to show for his efforts. On the face of it seems reasonable to me that if he built the thing, he should have something to show for his labour.

  • Dee Dee 42
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27 Jun 12 #339488 by Dee Dee 42
Reply from Dee Dee 42
Thanks so much for your advice.
He is divorcing her on grounds of unreasonable behaviour.

We have no plans to marry at present.

we are just thinking if nobody agrees to consent order,this will go on for years.
There is no pensions,so the only asset to split is the property.

So he feels at least he if he has the Absolute,he can make her understand the marriage is over,as the house is in both names,can he then just sort finances when house sells.

also if he was to go for decree Absolute now,will he have to go through his solicitor? or can he do this part himself.
can solicitor talk him out of it?
and can wife not agree to absolute?

thanks again in advance


  • LittleMrMike
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27 Jun 12 #339604 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
I honestly don''t know what to say here.

Is your partner still living in the former marital home with his wife ?

It really would help, I think, if you could sort out the business of finishing the house before putting it on the market. Leaving aside the fact that his services would presumably be free ( and probably free of VAT ) it tends to be unduly expensive to call in a contractor to finish off an uncompleted job.

But I don''t think the Court has the power to order him to do it. And I think he might want agreement on the final split before agreeing to do it.

If your partner and his wife are joint owners, both must concur in a sale. Without agreement on that you really can''t market the house at all, unless you are content to allow the proceeds to be retained by the solicitors until the dispute is resolved. I have known it happen but it is obviously unsatisfactory.

You either have to agree how the proceeds are to be split or the Court must decide the issue for you. And that means that you must either agree between yourself if you can, go to mediation, or go to Court. If neither of you does anything the matter will drag on interminably and getting a decree Absolute will not of itself resolve the issue.


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