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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


What to do?

  • workaholic17
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28 Jun 12 #339637 by workaholic17
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My partner has been separated from his wife for 2 1/2 years. They have 2 children under 5. They have been negotiating the terms of their divorce for around 2 years.
He has agreed that she will keep the house and he will not seek any settlement but has asked that she pay the conveyancing costs and he will pay for the actual divorce. She is recieving legal aid but he is just over the bracket to be elligible.
She strung the issue of the house out for over a year, demanading various peices of financial information on the pretext that she would offer some sort of settlement only to turn around in the end and say that she would not. He has decided to walk away rather than fight this to attempt to simplify things.
Access and maintenance arrangements have been settled since they separated though she has sent some nasty communications via her solicitor expressing her "disappointment in his lack of commitment to seeing the children outside of the hours of agreed contact". He has offered on several occassions new access arrangements whereby he would see the children more but these have all been ignored.
They are now in a stalemate whereby he has agreed to everything she has asked for and returned the minute of agreement stating his agreement but she has not responded to this at all. Two reminders have been sent and he also asked his solicitor to write suggesting they attend mediation as she is clearly very unhappy about something but refuses to speak about it but again this has been rejected.
He now feels there is nothing else he can do other than take the situation to court but his solicitor has said to do this he would have to seek a settlement on the property to cover costs and he does not want to do this. He wants to avoid the court process entirely as he doesn''t want the divorce to impact on the children any more than the separation already has. Not that the children are unhappy, quite the opposite.
He has asked me to post on here seeking advice as he is not very good with the pc and his solicitor seems to have run out of options to pursue. Any advice is appreciated.

  • Fiona
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28 Jun 12 #339660 by Fiona
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The only options are agreement between the two parties, court proceedings or to play the long game and stay married in the hope the wife either finds a new partner who doesn''t like her being married or realises that if she dies your partner will have claim to the house.

Who is currently paying the mortgage and are there any pensions?

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28 Jun 12 #339667 by workaholic17
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The agreement they came to was that she would keep the house and they would both retain their pensions (there would be no point in her claiming on his pension really as they''re basically the same so it would just be swapping the same money back and forth).
She has been paying the mortgage since they separated as he began paying her maintenance immediately.
He has actually signed the paperwork saying he wishes his name to be removed from the mortgage (which is a very small monthly payment) but she has not done anything with this. This is what is confusing him as her tack all along has been that she wants to leave the house solely to the children and him seeking any sort of settlement was him stealing from his children. He has never suggested them selling the house, he did originally request that she extend the mortgage to release equity which the bank said she could easily do and keep her monthly payment the same. She maintained that the bank would not approve her for this as she only works part time but when he recieved the paperwork for getting his name off the mortgage it appears she is realeasing some equity, presumably to cover the eventual conveyancing costs. As I said before he''s moved past recieving any settlement and now just wants the whole thing settled with a divorce.
He just cannot understand why if she wants the house to be solely hers and to pass to the children eventually with him having no claim she is not willing to finalise things when he''s agreed to everything she''s asked for.

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28 Jun 12 #339688 by Fiona
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Of course the problem maybe that the mortgage lender won''t remove your partner''s name and she is unable to get a mortgage. Or they maybe problems with the administration. When we divorced the bank couldn''t find any trace of the deeds or agreement even though payments had been made and annual statements received for 20 years.

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28 Jun 12 #339691 by workaholic17
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I wish that was the case but he''s spoken to the mortgage advisor and apparently everything is ready to be settled and she will be approved but she has not returned the signed paperwork. Even the mortgage advisor commented she can''t understand why she isn''t biting his hand off, she was shocked that there was to be no settlement.

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28 Jun 12 #339706 by workaholic17
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Thank you for the advice, it''s much appreciated. I had a feeling that they had to agree or go to court but he just really wanted to know if there was another option. He''ll just have to hope they can start talking civilly at some point and go from there. Thank you again.

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