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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Advice desperately needed

  • Crumpled
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28 Jun 12 #339786 by Crumpled
Topic started by Crumpled
Hi i am a bit confused as i completed my paperwork and gave it to my solicitor on the grounds as they suggested of unreasonable behaviour (i have a list to choose from as long as my arm) but now they are writing a letter to my stbx asking him to sign a letter to admit adultery and then pursue the divorce on those grounds.............it just goes against everything they told me to do at our meetings.
your views would be appreciated

  • livinginhope
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29 Jun 12 #339799 by livinginhope
Reply from livinginhope
sorry I''m not much help because I can''t understand why they would need to do that.I would suggest you ask them why.LIH

  • cookie2
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29 Jun 12 #339818 by cookie2
Reply from cookie2
I would ask your solicitor why they are sending these letters. And if this is against your instruction, you should not be charged for this "work".

  • Crumpled
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29 Jun 12 #339966 by Crumpled
Reply from Crumpled
hi i am just worried that they will send this letter costing me money which also instructs him to get a solicitor and to sign to admit adultery giving him 14 days to return it ...that my stbx will draw up a Petition and serve me whilst all this faffing about is going on which takes away the one thing i really want to have control over.Also im pretty sure he wont sign which then means a further letter costing again for unreasonable behaviour i also want to do a collaborative thing where we can sit around and agree everything in the open,my solicitor has said she considers me to be suitable but probably not him i am worried that i can see the way this is heading which will be acrimony and court.
my solicitor knows the firm that my husband is part owner in and has already told me to expect a top london lawyer to be instructed on his behalf.
i am concerned i amgoing to end up paying a fortune in unnecessary solicitors bills.the only reason i am using a solicitor is i think the financial part could be complex......the children part will take five minutes as he has already agreed with me that they live with me and he will have them whenever he wants as i would never stop him seeing the children.
i am just concerned that something that could be straightforward could end in disaster the letter my solicitor is actually very good and persuasive and his behaviour has been so awful to me that actually admitting adultery could actually be the nicer way to go so it ould be thats what the thinking behind this is.it has taken me ages to get the guts up to this and im terrified it will be really awful and im not sure i could cope with it all

  • Lori321
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29 Jun 12 #339973 by Lori321
Reply from Lori321
Divorce is a very stressful, distressing thing when it runs smoothly but when other partties ie solicitors get involved they seem to make it a lot more worst than it could be. I was divorced 14years ago, I knew nothing and was so distressed I just went along with the solicitor. Looking back It was unfortunenate that I was not more equiped myself. I am older and wiser and a lot calmer. I now find myself divorcing again (what a disaster, wish it was not so). I will not entertain a solicitor. I have done my homework and really at the end of the day all it is is presenting the facts and the judge makes all the decisions. Why involve a solicitor....well may be but only when you choose. if something comes up you are not sure about then pay for only what you want. You are employing them to do as you tell them!!!!! Hope that helps in some way.

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