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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


To Help Everyone Write Reasons for unreasonable B

  • Jamsandwiches
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30 Jun 12 #340033 by Jamsandwiches
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Hi There, I wanted to post this as I really struggled with it and wanted to give everyone else a legup on how to write the Reasons for unreasonable behavior in legal terms for the form. Thanks to everyone who helped me..

Examples and how to write:


What would consitute unreasonable behaviour

a) The Respondent has been violent towards the Petitioner. By way of example, on the xNx day of xNx during an argument at the former matrimonial home, the Respondent punched the Petitioner on the right side of her face, causing bruising. (b) The Respondent has threatened the Petitioner with physical violence. By way of example, on the x day of x 200x during an argument at the former matrimonial home, the Respondent threatened to punch the Petitioner in the face if she did not leave the room. (c) The Respondent has been subject to fits of violent temper. By way of example, on the xx day of xx 200xx during an argument at the former matrimonial home, the Respondent hurled a plate across the kitchen, which smashed against the wall. (d) The Respondent has been abusive towards the Petitioner. By way of example, on the xx day of xx 200xx during an argument at the former matrimonial home, the Respondent shouted abuse at the Petitioner, calling her “a $$$$$” and “a whore”. (e) The Respondent drinks to excess, and when he is under the influence of alcohol he behaves in an unreasonable and aggressive manner. By way of example, the Respondent habitually consumes at least one bottle of wine every evening, becoming drunk and abusive towards the Petitioner, and incapable of sensible conversation. (f) The Respondent is financially irresponsible, and has failed to maintain the Petitioner and the children properly during the marriage. By way of example, it was agreed that the Respondent should give the Petitioner the sum of xNx per week as general maintenance for herself and the children of the family, but the Respondent is frequently late in giving this money to the Petitioner, and on occasions has refused to make payment at all. This has made it impossible for the Petitioner to support herself and the children properly, causing her great distress. (g) During the marriage the Respondent has gambled to excess and has, on numerous occasions, caused considerable distress to the Petitioner by running up large gambling debts and dissipating the family’s savings. (h) The Respondent has formed an improper relationship with a woman whose identity is unknown to the Petitioner / whose identity and address the Petitioner does not wish to disclose. By way of example, the Respondent often takes this woman out to dinner and spends large sums of money buying her presents, and on occasions has stayed overnight in the same hotel room as the woman concerned. (i) The Respondent has frequently indulged in extreme fits of moodiness and silence, which have caused distress and anxiety to the Petitioner. By way of example, at weekends the Respondent spends long periods of time alone in the dining room at the former matrimonial home, and refuses to speak to the Petitioner. (j) The Respondent has refused to communicate on any meaningful level with the Petitioner. By way of example, there have been considerable difficulties in the marriage since approximately xNx, but the Respondent has refused the Petitioner’s requests to sit down and talk about these problems, in the hope of resolving them. By way of further example, the Respondent has refused the Petitioner’s requests to attend counselling sessions in an attempt to save the marriage. (k) The Respondent has displayed an unjustified and irrational jealousy towards the Petitioner, which has caused the Petitioner considerable distress. As a result, it has been impossible for the Petitioner to lead a normal social life. By way of example, the Respondent has refused to allow the Petitioner to socialise occasionally with her own friends. By way of further example, the Respondent has questioned the Petitioner closely about her relationships at work, and has falsely accused the Petitioner of having sexual or intimate relationships with her male colleagues. (l) Since the xx day of xx 200x the Respondent has refused to sleep in the same bedroom as the Petitioner, and the parties have slept in separate bedrooms. (m) The Respondent has displayed a lack of interest in and affection towards the Petitioner, which has led the Petitioner to feel lonely and isolated. By way of example, the Respondent never displays any interest in the Petitioner’s activities, and never asks her how she is feeling, or how she has p$$$ed her day. (n) The Respondent has displayed a patronising and condescending attitude towards the Petitioner, which has caused the Petitioner distress. By way of example, the Respondent has belittled the Petitioner by constantly making critical remarks about her in front of the Petitioner’s family and friends, which has undermined the Petitioner’s self confidence. (o) The Respondent has displayed a hostile attitude towards the Petitioner’s family and friends, which has made it difficult for the Petitioner to maintain these relationships. By way of example, whenever the Petitioner has invited her family or friends to the former matrimonial home, the Respondent has behaved rudely and aggressively towards them, making them feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. (p) The Respondent has refused to share his social life with the Petitioner, making the Petitioner feel unwanted and isolated. By way of example, the Respondent often goes out alone with his friends to the pub, and never invites the Petitioner to accompany him, and never invites the Petitioner to go out alone with him, for example to the theatre or to a restaurant. (q) The Respondent frequently goes out alone at night, without telling the Petitioner where he is going, who he is with, or what time he will come home. By way of example, on the xx day of xx 200xx the Respondent left the former matrimonial home at 7.00 pm, and did not return home until the early hours of the following morning, after the Petitioner had gone to bed. The Respondent refused to tell the Petitioner where he had been, or who had accompanied him. (r) The Respondent never helps the Petitioner with household chores, despite the fact that the Petitioner works full/part time (etc). By way of example, the Respondent expects the Petitioner to perform all household duties, such as cleaning, washing, vacuuming, shopping and cooking. (s) As a result of the Respondent’s unreasonable behaviour, the Petitioner found it impossible to continue living with the Respondent. Consequently, the Petitioner permanently vacated the former matrimonial home on the xx day of xx 200xx since when the Petitioner and the Respondent have lived entirely separate and apart. (t) The Respondent vacated the former matrimonial home suddenly and without the Petitioner’s consent on the xx day of xx 200xx. Since that date, and as a result of the respondent’s unreasonable behaviour, the Petitioner and the Respondent have lived entirely separate and apart.

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30 Jun 12 #340034 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Its good of you to try and help but its miles too long and some judges will kick it back for that reason alone.

Saying during the marriage is not acceptable, if you lived with it during the marriage you can`t use it as a reason the marriage broke down.

Example if you marry a drunk and knew s/he was a drunk you cant later use that as the reason for the breakdown of the marriage, use the word recently rather than during.

Its quite combative, it may be true but the aim here is to have the respondent agree rather than defend.

Five or six short reasons with dates tends to be enough.

Example;

This is an example of a mild version,

The marriage has irrevocably broken down.

The respondent has recently started spending more time with hobbies/work including spending time playing golf/darts going to the pub/gym taking unnecessary overtime which takes up 3 nights per week/the weekend.

Due to the behaviour of the respondent the respondent and Petitioner spend less time together. The petitioner feels excluded and isolated from significant parts of the respondents life.

By spending less time together there has been a lack of communication between the respondent and petitioner which has caused a complete breakdown of the marriage.The respondent does not with for the petitioner to be part of his/her new life.

The petitioner does not believe that the respondent wishes for the marriage to work because of his/her attitude towards the Petitioner.

As such the petitioner cannot be reasonably be expected to live with the respondent

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30 Jun 12 #340092 by Jamsandwiches
Reply from Jamsandwiches
Hi there

It wasn''t to include all the reasons, was examples for people to pick what was applicable to their situation...

I agree, 4-6 reasons is sufficent :)

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30 Jun 12 #340095 by Jamsandwiches
Reply from Jamsandwiches
I''ve been told by a solicitor you don''t need dates just specifics...

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30 Jun 12 #340097 by Jamsandwiches
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''As such the Petitioner cannot be reasonably expected to live with the respondent''

Does this have to be included after the reasons then? ty

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30 Jun 12 #340101 by dukey
Reply from dukey
dates are no strictly required but they are helpful.

The aim here is to provide sufficient reason so the judge allows the divorce, if s/he refuses amendment is required and a further court cost of £90, so try and get it right the first time.


The aim of divorce is to get a judge to agree that you should no longer have to live together so it does not hurt to reinforce with as such the Petitioner and respondent cannot be reasonably be expected to live together.

Solicitors have different writing styles, i am a simple man so i like to keep it to the point.

The marriage has broken down

This is why it happened

As such we should no longer have to live together

Can we have a wiki mere cat for my work in simples?.

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30 Jun 12 #340112 by Jamsandwiches
Reply from Jamsandwiches
thanks, I''ve gone back and forth over including dates, but a very kind solicitor saw the reasons and said they were ok without dates, thanks for help though :)

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