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Decree nisi refused

  • Hathor
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30 Jun 12 #340057 by Hathor
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My husband and I separated amicably and are both now in new relationships. We haven''t been separated for two years and he needs us to divorce sooner than the two years so I agreed he could file citing adultery (him to file as he wants the divorce so I said he had to pay). He did this in March.

When the D10 arrived I said on the form that I wouldn''t defend but, as the guidance notes say that "You are under no obligation to answer this question" for question 5 (admission of adultery), I left it blank.

Now husband has received a letter saying the judge has refused his application for a Decree Nisi as I left that question blank and there is no evidence of adultery.

I don''t understand how they can do this. They say you don''t have to answer the question and I said I wouldn''t defend the case, so surely it''s straightforward? If you do have to answer that question, why does it say you don''t?

Can I call the court and ask them to reconsider?

  • jslgb
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30 Jun 12 #340067 by jslgb
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I''ve been told by my solicitor i either need a confession from my stbxh or solid evidence. If you arent providing either you dont have grounds for adultery. The other route would be unreasonable behaviour where your ex needs a minimum of 5 reasons of why your behaviour was unreasonable.

If you go down the adultery route i''m not sure in what way your confession needs to be presented but my solicitor told me it wouldnt be written down as adultery on the Absolute, something along the lines of ''irreconcilable breakdown of the marriage'' is used instead.

Hope that helps a bit!

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30 Jun 12 #340068 by Hathor
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Thanks for replying.

There aren''t 5 reasons for unreasonable behaviour on either side, as I said it was an amicable split.

I still don''t understand how they can say Q5 is optional, then refuse on the grounds you haven''t answered Q5.

  • jslgb
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30 Jun 12 #340070 by jslgb
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I havent quite reached that stage in my divorce so i''m not sure how it is presented. Is there an option for you to agree the divorce without answering question five? Or is it seen as you not agreeing to adultery if you leave it blank?

  • when will it all end?!
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30 Jun 12 #340080 by when will it all end?!
Reply from when will it all end?!
UB can be anything that shows a judge why it is unreasonable for you to stay married. It doesn''t have to be ''bad'' behaviour.

For instance:

1. Drifted apart from each other
2. Stopped socialising together as a couple
3. Lived separate lives
4. Stopped sleeping in the same bed
4. Moved out
5. Started new close relationship with a member of the opposite sex
6. Admitted that the relationship was over

  • Hathor
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30 Jun 12 #340081 by Hathor
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Thanks both.

jslgb, there''s a question where it asks if you''re going to defend and I said no to that. I''m utterly confused about how they can say the question is optional and then turn you down because you didn''t answer it.

when will it all end? - only three of those would apply. Plus, if he started again now with a different reason, he''d have to pay again wouldn''t he? He can''t afford that.

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30 Jun 12 #340136 by cookie2
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Hathor wrote:

I still don''t understand how they can say Q5 is optional, then refuse on the grounds you haven''t answered Q5.

It is optional. That is not to say that there aren''t consequences to not answering it! You chose not to answer it, and the consequences of that choice are that the divorce was refused.

If your husband had other evidence of your adultery then he could still proceed even though you chose not to answer it. But he doesn''t, so the divorce has failed.

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