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LETTING THE OTHER WOMANS HUSBAND KNOW

  • Kitsi
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30 Jun 12 #340198 by Kitsi
Topic started by Kitsi
I ma not a malicious person nor a bunny boiler I swear
But I wondered how everyone else here whose husband or wife had an affair let THEIR husband or wife know?
Or did they just ''let it go''.
I am in such a quandary. SHE was my friend. SHE write to me daily- we met where she lives. Everytime my stbx went there on businedd he stayed with her and her husband and children. She is a very Christian woman and leads a chucrh group.
Apparently she told my stbx that she was unhappy with her dh and as he was unhappy with me they could have a ''discreet relationship'' providing the other partners did not know. That way they wer only strengthennig their marriages which was the Chrsitian thing to do.
BLOODY WELL SHOW ME WHERE IT SAYS THIS IN THE BIBLE!!! Thinf is I DO want her to suffer- she is STILL WITH her husband and children - no one DID know. But my stbx had me runnning all over fixing her treats in London and calling in favours from my city contacts- free passes to nightclubs and all the time she was mailing him nude pics of herself she was emailing me saying ''did I know what my husband was going to wear'' and '' wasn''t he lucky he''d be taking us and her 21 year old daughter out to dance.....''
I cannot BELIEVE the desire for revenge I feel on this woman but neither do I want to hurt her husband and innocent kids-ranging in age from 6=21. HAS anyone let the other half know and if so- were you glad? Or do you regret it?

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01 Jul 12 #340201 by rubytuesday
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Think very carefully about the far-reaching repercussions of telling her husband.

I can understand you are angry (and rightly so) - but do you wish to wreak the same havoc on another family that you are suffering?

You mention her children - do you really wish to act in a way that will cause them harm?

This post from a while back is on the same subject, and you can read for yourself the effects of having someone else inform you of your spouse''s infidelity.

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...usband-followed.html

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01 Jul 12 #340204 by Kitsi
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Daer Ruby
Sorry I don''t see the relevance of that link
I don''t want to get anyone followed.
She is a Christian Youth Leader maybe I''d be better off reporting her to her Pastor.
However i don''t see why on earth I should consider her husbands and childrens feelings. That was up to her when she= sorry- decided to remove her clothes for my husband.
Her family are not at ALL my concern.
I should add this is her second husband and she did the same thing to her first husband.
I really despair of sisterhood when women will do this to each other.
I am ''only'' 51. I had MUCH higher hopes of feminism for our generation than this.
That aside- the base bit of me would glory in her being thrown out of her hypocritical job and home. She has stayed in my home, I have catered for her, I have driven her places in the USA and even lent her funds when she was very broke. I WANT her to suffer, Sorry everyone but I DO

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01 Jul 12 #340205 by rubytuesday
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Did you read the entire thread?

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01 Jul 12 #340210 by Kitsi
Reply from Kitsi
Yes of course, but I still don''t see its relevance to me. The situation is entirely different.

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01 Jul 12 #340211 by rubytuesday
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You asked about people telling the OW/OM''s spouse - people shared their experiences of being told by the OW/OM''s spouse of the affair. I hoped that you might have found those posts helpful in realising the impact your actions would have on entirely innocent people.

Her marriage is none of your business, you are better off focusing on you, your animals and looking after yourself.

What would you hope to achieve by informing the husband? Would you gain any long-term satisfaction from ruining the lives of other people?

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01 Jul 12 #340212 by cookie2
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I would tell the husband. If I were the husband then I would want to be told rather than live a lie and be put at risk of STDs.

The messenger is not the one who ruins lives. That is the cheater.

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