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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

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A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Parenting together apart

  • onedaymaybe
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03 Jul 12 #340851 by onedaymaybe
Topic started by onedaymaybe
Hi
This is my first post.
My husbands secreats came out 3 months ago in the most dramtic fasion- not ready to go into details but one day I woke up happy and went to bed later that day feeling as if my husband was dead.
Lots of the things he has done are because he has a ''sexual addiction'' he says he doesn''t want, he''s in a state and says he loves me but I cant see how when his secreat actions show anything but love.He is in theapy.
I care for him as one might for a sick brother who you want to get better but I will never trust him again and do not want to be married to him.
We have three children and I want to parent them together; for them to be OK. I don''t hate him but I don''t love him and I don''t know how to move forward together but apart if that makes sense!?
Any way hi! and thanks if you''ve got this far down my post

  • Action
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03 Jul 12 #340853 by Action
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Welcome to Wiki but sorry about your problems. Are you still trying to make a go of the marriage? How long has he been having therapy? If his ''problem'' magically went away do you see a future together or is what has happened so bad that this really is the beginning of the end? What are his thoughts on divorce?

Sorry to bombard you with questions. I guess if you''re posting on here then you must be pretty seriously thinking about divorce. It''s an awful thing to go through but so is living with a man you do not know, trust or respect any more.

You can send me a PM anytime if you want to offload.

Big hugs and there''s lots of us here to offer you support.

  • WhiteRose
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03 Jul 12 #340855 by WhiteRose
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Hi onedaymaybe and welcome to wiki! ;)

Its normal to say ''No Way'' at this stage, you''re hurt, you''re angry, you''re betrayed. But maybe after his therapy and possibly councelling you may find a way to make it work.

However if its separation and divorce you want, please read these articles about parenting (see link), it will help you both parent your children through this difficult time.

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Resources/Wiki...ting_c441_m2669.html

Take care

WR

  • onedaymaybe
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03 Jul 12 #340858 by onedaymaybe
Reply from onedaymaybe
Hi
Thank for your reply.
He had an affair just after our second child was born and I forgave him and we moved on- which I really did and now we''ll it''s the beginning of the end. It really feels like my husband died and now theres this shadow of a man hoovering over my life- which is just so sad. He has been in therapy for 2 months and he moved into his parents 3 months ago. It can''t magically get better unless you could turn back time but the damage is done. He will give me a divorce but wants to ''make himself better and work it out'' but an addition is something some people learn to manage but most slip back- it''s a rollercoaster I''m not willing to get on- too much pain. I do wish I had my husband back- the one I thought I had!- I sound crazy....

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03 Jul 12 #340859 by Action
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You''re not crazy. There are hundreds of us on here that feel that we have lost the person we were once in love with - that''s why divorce is often more painful than bereavement because you can never understand how and why the person changed so much.

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