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FDR versus Narcisist

  • stresseduk
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06 Jul 12 #341439 by stresseduk
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I am at my FDR on monday and am terrified. I have been married to a narcisist for 20 years and he thinks he knows better that the law. i have a barrister for he hearing but am terrified i will lose the home for me and my three boys .he wants me to move out and the boys live with him.he tried to buy the youngest 10, but he has now told x he wants to live with me, the other two 20 and 16have never wanted to live with him. Its all about him,and me having nothing.So scared. Please send me positive thoughts xxx

  • jonathancj
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06 Jul 12 #341443 by jonathancj
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I''ve seen a few like him. They usually come across really badly in Court. You can be sure that the judge will have seen plenty like him too. Putting him up against an experienced barrister makes for a really unequal contest. You''ve clearly been dominated by this man and he is therefore used to being the dominant figure. I can assure you, he certainly won''t be dominant in Court!

  • flowerofscotland
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06 Jul 12 #341451 by flowerofscotland
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Hi stresseduk,

Mmmm a narcissist ehhh? Not another one? There are so many of us who are in the same position, our STBX''s who think it is their way or the highway, not only when it comes to divorcing, but with all else in the world. Only their opinion, views, politics etc etc are what count, nobody else is entitled to take a different stance or even argue their case! Yes, they definitely do think that they are above and beyond the law.

Do not let this man get to you anymore, take a stand, let your barrister do the work on your behalf, that is what you are paying him/her to do. The problem with ''narcissists'' and believe me, there are many different types, is that eventually their ego''s will be their biggest downfalls.

I have stood up to my STBX, to fight for what is only right, fair and equal and he is shall we say is a very intense narcissist, extreme in everything he does.

When we first separated he chose not to engage a Solicitor, thinking he could go it alone, until the point that he was served papers by my Solicitor that he could not ignore. He knew then that I meant ''Serious Business''. No longer was he going to be allowed to control, manipulate and expect me to sign on the dotted line for his benefit. (I am in the middle of a very acrimonious case, of which could have been avoided had he chosen to show some kind of respect towards me and the children).

I understand how scared and frightened you must be feeling, but I have stood in Court on many occasion, feeling the same, but you can never lose sight of why you are there in the first place. Purely through the actions of your X and also to defend your children and agree a settlement, in the children''s benefit, for their future. I know that my own children have been afford their ''voice'' in Court and told the Sheriff how they have felt, I was grateful that he listened to them.

Do not be bullied any longer stresseduk, the Courts have seen and heard from many of ''their'' types before and your barrister will be well prepared.

Good luck and take care for now FoS x

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06 Jul 12 #341453 by flowerofscotland
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Hi jonathancj,

It is very reassuring for women like myself and stresseduk to know that the legal teams do recognise the type of characters narcissists are in Court.

Thank you, your comments are a comfort.

Take care for now FoS x

  • stresseduk
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06 Jul 12 #341455 by stresseduk
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Thanks for your relies.If it was only me to think about i,d walk away with nothing but i am a mother who has always put my family first and am very close to the boys. just want it all to and. I am very down and scared but know i cant give up for the boys .

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