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depression and trying to get on.....

  • soobee
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12 Jul 12 #342783 by soobee
Topic started by soobee
hi my stbx is stalling over everything...ie giving up todate bank details (whilst trying to hide move money)I have found the whole process very upsetting and draining ...so my doc today and have now been put on tablets for depression....and feel im in limbo ...my sol sent several letters to his...but my stbx does nothing ...what is he hoping to gain ......:(:(:(

  • QPRanger
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12 Jul 12 #342795 by QPRanger
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Hi Soobee

I can relate to literally everything you have written as I have been through all of it, inc the depression. Use your family and friends for support: they will want to look after you and see you through this. It took me a while to work this out!

The ''in limbo'' situation is horrible: the tablets will hopefully keep you above water during these times, they have helped me function which is enough for now.

Remember you cannot control what your stbx does or doesn''t do in this situation, however frustrating this is! Just do what YOU feel is right.

Good luck!

  • Action
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12 Jul 12 #342796 by Action
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Big hug Soobee.

Keep in mind that it''s him that''s behaving badly which eventually will not reflect well on him. I wish I had had the stength to keep the pressure on my ex as I gave him time to paint a completely different picture of his financial situation.

It seems so unreal and unfair that you need to be at your Absolute best to deal with all the complex issues when you are actually far from that, mentally or physically. Don''t worry about the ADs. athough they are no quick fix. My counsellor likened them to giving you that little push to get onto the ladder to enable you to climb out of the hole myself.

Concentrate on what you need to do in the process and make the most of Wiki.


  • hur
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12 Jul 12 #342836 by hur
Reply from hur

feel free to slap me
do you think you are depressed ? serious question
your life is in an appalling place, this person appears to have no respect or common decency, the state of limbo is frustrating you beyond endurance - the stress must be unbearable

anti depressants might be the easy way out for your GP, but are they right for you ?
You need to take control back.You can do this, 1 step at a time, with the help of experienced professionals.

Yes pills will help your state of mind, but they wont solve what is truly bringing you down.

I am not a doctor, I was just in a similar place, my GP offered me anti-depressants, I told him
''''I am not depressed just really sad & in an awful position''''

Every morning I look at them sealed in the bag gathering dust, then I do what I have to do, to move my life onwards & upwards.

hang in there & best wishes

  • downland
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12 Jul 12 #342857 by downland
Reply from downland
Same sort of situation with regard to the stalling - nearly 20 weeks (5 months of my life - which sounds a lot worse) waiting for response to one letter and in meantime I have been made redundant.

I am usually a cup half full person but beginning to think that it is half empty and likely to be drained with the solicitors help.

I think it is a last ditch effort at retaining control of you. If no other avenue open then stalling the whole procedure beats letting you ''win'' and walk away.

Take the help you need from wherever you can safely find it and see this thing through to the end.

  • Margot123
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13 Jul 12 #342867 by Margot123
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Hi soobee,

Just like it has been said, tablets may help you in the short term, but they defo won''t cure the problem...it is up to the individual to choose what suits them best...I have been offered them in the past, went to get my prescription and even went as far as having the pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other...and decided only at that moment that pills were not for me...read a little about alternatives and it seems that physical activity is the best cure for depression, even if only walking briskly...although personally I prefered more "aggressive" ones such as boxing..

As for limbo, it is hard, I asked my stbx a couple of days ago to write a letter that a solicitor needs - it only requires a reference number, the date, 1 phrase and his signature...so not difficult - and when I asked him, the answer was "you can type it, I''ll just sign it"... not over the moom with his reaction (reflects the 20 yrs + relationship tho...I did everything for him!!)...and I am still waiting...

Try to keep positive



  • cookie2
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13 Jul 12 #342882 by cookie2
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soobee wrote:

what is he hoping to gain ......:(:(:(

£££ of course!

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