try to keep a diary, log all the little things eg. shouted at me infront of postman, - even down to ''daily mood''. Watch for patterns of behaviour ; calm & kept out of my way/spoiling for fight
have you thought about dialling 101 ? the non-emergency police line, ask for the domestic violence officer. My area referred me to a charity run support team (invaluable to me, they helped me recognise I was a victim and offered practical advice specific to my case)
do some online research into bullying/abuse if you do not feel ready to dial 101
I am really sorry to hear you are going through this nightmare... I have been where you are now.
I would definitely report the abuse to the police... If you don''t they look at it as though you are willing to put up with it.
Can you go down to housing advice at your local council they will help you find accommodaion really quickly within a few weeks because of your abuse. You will be entitled to benefits.
The most important thing to do is to make your plans quietly and tell her nothing about anything.
I did all this and do not regret a day of it... the peace and quiet is fantastic.
She sounds just like my STBXH who is a violent abusive alcoholic but puts on an amazing saintly front to friends and family. He did exactly the same things invited me into the house once we were separated then called the police so that he could put it in his divorce petition.
I would not stay there a moment longer and if you can find a friend or family member to take you in you will get housed very quickly.
Sorry if I am rambling on but I cannot impress on you enough that your health and state of mind will improve immensely if you can get out.
The divorce Petition is totally separate from finances anyway. And it will have no bearing on the financial split in a long marriage.
You are the lower earner and can apply for a Financial order against her.
That is what I am doing and it is driving him nuts.
I feel for you in your situation because Abuse of any kind to anyone is not acceptable and you deserve to be treated with respect.
Actually I called 101 later this afternoon and I am going to see them on Monday. I am going to report this weeks attack
And have a date for a previous because I have made notes the odd time...
I don''t intend it to go any further unless it happens again. At some point soon she will try to get a reaction from me.... She hates not being in
Control of my emotions. I am loathed to move out yet because
I need to be with my son.
The policewoman I spoke to said the worry is that there''s always the chance it could go further than punches and slaps.
I not a wimp, but i would never hit her and I am sensitive. She''s never drawn blood more left my head stinging and throbbing.