A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

General help and advise on money to aid my wife

  • darren81
  • darren81's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
14 Jul 12 #343147 by darren81
Topic started by darren81
Hi all

Im a 30 year old man, i have been with my wife for 10 years married for 5 we have one child of 3 years old, we have been going through issues for over a year now and we have talked a number of times about seperation.

My wife has never worked since being together as a contractor she has followed me around the world and we have benefited together.

I am the sole owner of our family home and i earn 80k a year.

I was wondering what is a fair settlement for my wife, bearing in mind that i also need to find new accomidation etc..

i know my child maintaince would be 250pw i am happy to sell the family home and give her all the money which would be around 30k or im happy to pay some of the mortage and allow her and my son to continue living in the family home.

I have read through a number of articals but its not really clear to me what is fair. Short term im happy to help as much as possible and myself suffer for my own peice of mind but longer term if i start a new family i dont want to be in a position where im giving away 30-50% of my income.


  • LittleMrMike
  • LittleMrMike's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
15 Jul 12 #343262 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
The primary objective of a Court is to make sure both of you have a home, and in particular your child.
So your wife doesn''t work. At the moment, with a three year old child, I don''t think I''d expect her to.
She needs a home for herself and the child but if we assume she is not going to work for some time, then the question arises as to how she will afford that accommodation.
As a first step she must consider what her post separation income would be.
At the moment we are looking at a permutation and combination of the following :
Child support ;
Spousal maintenance ;
Tax credits ;
Child benefit ;
( Possibly ) Housing benefit
Council tax benefit.
So one option is that she lives in the former marital home, and with a three year old child that could be a very long time.
On your income, I would say spousal maintenance is a virtual certainty. I hate to be pessimistic, but I think that a joint lives order is quite a strong probability. That doesn''t necessarily mean it is actually for life, but this is a situation we come across in wiki over and over again.
You mention the option of selling the house and giving her the proceeds. Well, it''s an option, but I think your wife will be advised against this. I say this because, if she is allowed to live in the former marital home for a long time, she will get a pretty fair slice of the proceeds when the property has to be sold anyway. If she gets a sum of £30K it will disqualify her from housing and council tax benefit and she would be forced to spend the greater part of it.
This is why it is essential that your wife''s potential benefit entitlement is considered because it can amount to quite a tidy sum.
I don''t think you need to worry about accommodation on your own account, you will certainly be allowed enough to rent, and that , I think, would be sufficient to allow staying access to your child.
This is a pretty pessimistic view of your circumstances, and I always worry that my own experience of the divorce process has made me that way. It would be interesting to see whether you have any other comments from others.

  • hattiedaw
  • hattiedaw's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
15 Jul 12 #343301 by hattiedaw
Reply from hattiedaw
Have you ever heard the phrase "1st families come 1st"?
I read your post and thought "what a nice man" until I got to the last paragraph where, it seems you are already planning another family!
Reading between the lines (and forgive me if I''m wrong) you''ve met someone else?
It''s a shame you''re thinking so far ahead when the split is obviously recent or hasn''t even happened yet.
The best thing in my opinion you can do is go to court and get everything drawn up properly. As Mike said your ex will probably be allowed to stay in the house until he / she leaves full time education (a long time) and I''d think (from what I''m experiencing at the moment) spousal maintenance is payable until someone is able to stand on their own 2 feet, so in your ex''s case if the childs 3 she will probably be at home with the child for another couple of years then probably able to work part time while childs at primary school and full time work once child reaches it''s teens...I''m not sure I''m right here, but it''s kind of what I understood when my solicitor explained it to me.
child maintenance until child leaves education (I dont know what the % is at the mo).
Sorry if both Mike and me have a look of pessimism about us!

  • darren81
  • darren81's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
16 Jul 12 #343356 by darren81
Reply from darren81
Hi Both thank you for the feedback and id rather the pessimistic view on the situation that way i understand worst case scenario.

My priority is to ensure my child and my ex wife are provided for until such a time she can start to support herself.

To the point of have a met someone else i havent yet but i do look to the future my wife and i havent been getting on for almost two years now while its amicable its wasnt healthy for either of us. So i do look to the future and with me being only young i wonder what effect it will have on future relationships, especially with potential partners who have never had a past difficult situation or dependants.

  • sillywoman
  • sillywoman's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
16 Jul 12 #343368 by sillywoman
Reply from sillywoman
You are both young so hopefully one day you will both meet new people and enjoy family life again.

In the meantime your child and wife are your priority in ensuring they are housed and looked after and then of course yourself.

Although there is little equity in the marital home, with your income it is pretty certain your wife and child should be able to stay in the house and you could rent a two bed flat closeby.

Its good that you are so concerned and I hope all goes well for all of you.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.