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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


whats for the best

  • Crumpled
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15 Jul 12 #343224 by Crumpled
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some advice please would be gratefully received
originally my solicitor told me to file on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour...i filled in the paperwork as requested with a few (i have a list as long as my arm) examples of UB and waited for tghe Petition etc to be drawn up.
my solicitor then phones me and says they are going down the route of adultery i was a bit wrong footed by this as it was their suggestion in the first place to go ub..

anyway a letter has now been drafted a very nice placating one with a confession statement for my stbx to sign asing him to return it within 14 days and that he should seek legal advice.
sorry to ramble on but surely this gives my oh time to see his solicitor and draw up a petition and get his in first....
it has been so hard for me to get to this point i am just so confused now.....
i know there is as code that a solicitor should write to the respondent before filing but this just seems like it is making things potentially messy before we get started.................
my solicitor costs 300 per hour.........

  • livinginhope
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15 Jul 12 #343226 by livinginhope
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I can''t understand why your Solicitor would do this,Have you asked for an explanation? Did they do this without your permission? You are paying them and they should be acting on your instructions.

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15 Jul 12 #343227 by Crumpled
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hi i am just wondering whether she is doing this to rack up her bill...i wanted to do the route where you sit down with your solicitors present and agree everything but she reckons my oh not suitable for that but she thinks he will calmly sign a letter admitting adultery.............i asked her what the rationale was and she said it was best to keep the Petition simple and not give him anything he could contest...but most of my reasons i have evidence anyway

  • sexysadie
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15 Jul 12 #343247 by sexysadie
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It''s quite common to do this with UB and probably also adultery. The idea is to get the other side to sign it off and not contest, so you put the reasons to them in advance in case there is anything they completely balk at.

Best wishes,
Sadie

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15 Jul 12 #343252 by Crumpled
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hi sadie i understand that and i picked things that were irrefutable such as he has moved out of the family home etcetc and not particularly contentious when i really could have been but my solicitor wants to do the whole thing on her getting him to sign a confession of adultery i think when hell freezes over comes to mind will he sign that as he wont even admit the latest one to me even though it is glaringly obvious and he has been caught out.........so why are we not going ub writing the letter waiting 14 dayss then submitting th Petition rather than write re adultery wait14 days probably get no response or at worst a counter petition and the write again with ub reasons wait another 14 days then draft petition etc etc

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15 Jul 12 #343284 by livinginhope
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Living,if he doesn''t reply within 14 days I would tell your solicitor to quickly go for UB .She should have listened to your wishes in the first place.If you aren''t happy with her service and think she is one for running up large bills I wonder if you should get another Solicitor if he refuses to sign Adultery admission.If you told your Sol. that he denies Adultery it seems very strange that she should decide to go for that.Hopefully ,now that it''s done,he may surprise you and sign it.

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15 Jul 12 #343286 by livinginhope
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I''ve just re read your original post and wonder if I''ve misunderstood and she hasn''t actually sent the letter to him yet? If that is the case I would tell her to hold it until one of the legal Wikis come along with some advice and opinions.
Living x

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