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Can I stop him letting himself into the house?

  • musicforthemasses
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16 Jul 12 #343354 by musicforthemasses
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In the process of Divorcing, it''s all been very quick, but he is now shacked up with the Other Woman.

When he comes to see the kids he just lets himeslf in the house. I don''t mind this too much if I''m in the house, but there are times when he is returning the kids and letting himself in when I''m not here. Yesterday he did this and started looking for paperwork and looking for stuff he can take to his new place. When I got back he had a load of stuff in his car. Some I knew he was taking but I''m not sure what other stuff he took.

I know he has to have a key as his name is on the mortgage but can I do anything to stop him just letting himself in?

  • sexysadie
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16 Jul 12 #343365 by sexysadie
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Probably the only thing you can do is be at home when he brings the kids back. Otherwise, even if you changed the locks you would have to give the children a key, and he would just go in with them.

best wishes,
Sadie

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16 Jul 12 #343370 by musicforthemasses
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The thing is I told him to return them at 2pm, I was back at 1.45pm and he had already been here for 30 minutes! I wasn''t late, he was deliberately early.

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16 Jul 12 #343371 by cookie2
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Change the locks. You have a right too privacy. Just because he is on the mortgage, does not mean he can let himself in at any time. After all, a landlord is on the mortgage of their rental properties, do they have the right to just walk in at any time? No!

Tell him what time you will be home. If he and the kids have to wait in the car, then it''s his own stupid fault for turning up at the wrong time.

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16 Jul 12 #343377 by Action
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Have you told him that you are not happy for him to intrude into YOUR home and that he needs to knock first? You have a right to privacy. I did this with my ex very quickly and he has (more or less) respected it. It does irritate me when he comes in and helps himself to cups of tea etc. I wouldn''t dream of going to his rented house and doing that. A friend of mine is in a similar situation and her STBX did not like being told to knock, so she asked him if it would be OK for her to have a key to the house he''s now in with OW.

Good luck and hope you''re able to stand your ground on this.

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16 Jul 12 #343381 by jjones123
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I agree with Action - stand your ground and make your point VERY clear: you do certainly have a right to privacy, but I also understand that if he is co-owner of the house, he has a right to access - but if he has moved out, then your rights (I think) override his.

I would personally caution against changing the locks, since that may potentially escalate things.

JJ

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16 Jul 12 #343388 by musicforthemasses
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I asked him not to the first time he did it and certainly let him know I was unhappy yesterday. :angry:

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