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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Wording the grounds for divorce - UB

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24 Jul 12 #345156 by DGD
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rubytuesday, InneedOf Care , I appreciate your opinions. These were the thoughts going through in my head. Should I or should I not. And I have been changing my opinion.
Based on the responses to this thread I guess I will keep it as is.
I am so happy to have found this site. People here are the most generous.

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24 Jul 12 #345164 by DGD
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Mrs Sadness, I am not in the position to advice, I just want to say I am with you and to wish you luck with the divorce. You are right - making a start is an achievement in itself.

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25 Jul 12 #345229 by cookie2
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DGD wrote:

Due to these incidents the Petitioner moved out of the marital home in February 2012. She returned in August 2012 to commence the divorce proceedings.

No, don''t put that. For a start, August 2012 is the future so don''t talk about it like it''s the past. How do you know you will be able to get back in, anyway?

Also why on earth would you move back in with a violent and abusive man? It is not necessary to cohabit to commence divorce proceedings.

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25 Jul 12 #345249 by PetalsInTheWind
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DGD,
Call me a busybody if you want but I am a worrier and I am concerned that moving back into the family home could put you and your daughter at risk. You have been out for months now and moving back in with him still there could be very risky for you both. If you have alternative accommodation please consider it. I know all stbxes are not like mine and I hope yours has the ability to stay calm if you do go back. I wish you well with your divorce and your future. Stay strong and be happy.

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25 Jul 12 #345296 by DGD
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Thank you guys.

That''s another of my headaches and decisions that are hard to make. Where do I return to?

I and my daughter can stay with my parents or brother for long periods of time, which I have been doing since the end of February. But all of my family are abroad. (I guess it was one of the reasons that contributed to my hesitancy to leave for so long - this had to be done a couple of years ago).

I have more or less recovered by now and it looks like the darkest depression is done with - I can start sorting my life out. However, where do I go to when I return to England in a week''s time? Most of the friends are our family''s friends who, I feel, do not want to get involved in any way. I have got a few girlfriends I have spoken to and they said I could stay with them if the situation got really bad. I do not dare ask for more.

And then my husband (I have had a few short conversations with him in the past 5 months while I am away) says he is happy to divorce, he has stopped drinking, has been going to the gym etc. I heard he has plans for his ex now!
I do know people of this kind do not change (I realise now he had the same personality before we got together, I was just too inexperienced to notice this), but they can have nice periods when they want to. Or am I naive?..

Then again. I know he is about to have his long holidays abroad. So it is possible he will be gone by the time I return. This would give me good time to gather documents and submit the Petition.

My family and friends tell me not to return to the MH. But what other options do I have? To rent? I guess that would work out very expensive..

I told my husband when we spoke last that I would be coming back some time soon to start the divorce proceedings.

Please let me know what you think. I really value your opinions and advice.

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26 Jul 12 #345455 by DGD
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I have some more questions I hope someone will be able to help with.

What''s the process if my stbx defends my allegations consenting to the divorce? Do I have to prove them for the Petition to be accepted?

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26 Jul 12 #345466 by cookie2
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No, you don''t have to prove your allegations. You only have to prove that the marriage has broken down. Contesting a divorce doe snot mean (as many think) saying "what you have said is false, the reason the marriage broke down is YOUR fault!"... what it actually means is saying "the marriage has not broken down". How is he going to prove the marriage has not broken down? The very fact that you have applied for divorce, proves that it has. This is why defending a divorce is a waste of time and money.

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