Stopping a decree absolute

advice please!

I have my Decree Nisi. I can get my Absolute on Friday 10th August. I am worried the ex might try and stop this.

she did not contest the divorce. she left the marital home after i tried to save the marraige She has recieved half the equity of the house. i let her keep the car as well. Care of our daughter is split. initially i had my daughter 4 days a week but i let my ex keep the child benefit and child tax credit as she has a lower wage than me. This extra money for her gave us an equal income. This all seemed fair.

We then had a big debate of what school our daughter goes to. i won the debate but conceeded that i would have my daughter 3 nights a week, and the ex would have her for 4 nights.

We have both signed the statement of arrangements for children saying that there will be no claim do maintainence as custody is split.

we have both signed a agreement (not it the presence of a solicitor) detailing all our terms, and saying that, as everything is equal there will be no claim to csa. Realistically when i had my daughter for 4 nights i was entitled to this and all the other benefit, but i stuck to our agreement.

yesterday i got a call from csa. potentially i could be made to pay. it would be little money, only £30 a week, as i have her for 3 nights. I''m furious about this. i''ve told the ex that custody will now be 50/50. I 4 nights one week, her 4 nights the next. I will simply return my daughter a day later.

She''s not happy and says she will contact her solicitor to see if everything is correct about finances.

She has an ongoing issue with me because she buys our daughter clothes. even though this is what child benefit and ctc are for! When she left she refused to take any responsibilty for our dog. I knwo the dog is not the same as a child but it cost me £60 every month. I''ve told her 100 times that if she spends more than that on clothes i will pay half the difference. this seems fair, especially as she has the benefits. she dismisses it all.

I''m really worried that if she speak to her solicitor that htey may try and stop the Absolute. do they have grounds to do this? surely there can''t be any more entitlement? she had her money, signed to this affect. we both even sign to say that neither party would claim csa, although i know this isn''t legally binding.

I''m due to get married again. this is why it is so essential. I''m getting married in russia in October. i need this absolute as i need to get it translated. timescales are very tight and any delay would destroy my wedding plans. the ex doesn''t know any of this, and i''m sure she doesn''t understand the absolute is ready next week. But her solicitor may but ideas into her head.

any advice would be appreciated. thanks

Do you have a financial Consent Order, or have you been through the process of Ancillary Relief to a court order?

Nothing like this. we agreed finances. wrote it down, signed it, and i paid her.

I applied for the divorce. she didn''t contest it. and we both signed the child order as well to say we were in agreement.

now she says she will go to her solicitor. i''m sure she doesn''t understnad the divorce will be Absolute next friday so may not even go before then.

but its really worrying all the same.

Unless the end of the marriage will causes severe financial hardship or there is a large pension claim it is unlikely that the Decree Absolute will not be granted.

Any application to the court to prevent the pronouncement of the DA should be made as soon as possible i.e. as soon as the decree Nisi is pronounced. This does not appear to be the case and time is running out. Your ex''s solicitors acts on instructions but has to advise on the ramifications of the issue of DA although I would expect such advice to have been given a while ago.

There is a fundamental right for parents to apply to the CSA although it is possible to delay any referral to the CSA for 12 months where maintenance is provided for in a consent order which is not the case here. After that, nobody can be held to an agreement not to refer back to the CSA.

Furthermore, the payments that you make to the CSA can be spent however the recipient chooses. The idea is that all monies received will enrichen the lifestyle of the child either directly or indirectly. There is no accounting required by the recipient as this would be nonesense.

If you have a clearly defined financial agreement which appears to have been implemented, it would be wise to have this formalised in a consent order (or an order to recognise the agreement if your ex does not wish to cooperate) which would prevent any future financial claims.

However, if you are to be remarried this may bar you from making such an application unless you were the Petitioner in divorce proceedings and a claim for financial relief was made in the Petition.

Charles

The first rule is: do not plan a wedding until you have the decree Absolute.

You really need to formalise your financial arrangements in a consent order. There is a Wiki service to do this. See the links down the right of the screen.

A solicitor would advise your S2BX to block the DA until consent order is sealed by the court. This is especially important where there are children. An agreement to not involve the CSA cannot be binding.

IF there is no court order settling the finances on divorce and by being no longer married your wife would be financially disadvantaged the courts might not grant the Absolute.That might be the case if you have a large pension and wife would lose pension death benefits or matrimonial home rights. Otherwise there is no reason for the Absolute not to be granted.

A bigger problem is the remarriage trap when someone who has remarried cannot make a new court application for a financial order. That means if financial matters aren''t resolved someone who has remarried can be stuck in limbo if the other party doesn''t apply. In your case if you petitioned for divorce it would have been usual to tick the financial orders so that the application is open and you should be OK but it''s worth checking with a solicitor.

Thankyou for the responses. Yes, i would not have expected to consider planning a marriage before my Absolute. But Theresa May has forced us into a corner. We need to apply for a spouse visa for extry into the uk soon. If we don''t have this before a set date next year, then the english language requirements for my fiancee greatly increase. which would require her to do 2-3 years of learning before we could apply!

I''m a little less worried about the Absolute situation now. if there is a genuine claim to csa then so be it, it is little money.

she has no financial hardship. she is merely bitter.

I''m just really annoyed by the whole thing. she had had more than 50%. And her having our daughter an extra night was a gesture of goodwill on my part. although are physical time with our daughter works out even. it''s just that she sleeps there one more night. i have more time over the weekend. during the days she is in nursery. I didn''t think she would stoop to this, but i was wrong.

i''ve told the csa i will speak to the ex about childcare arrangements. when they call back i will state that the arrnagements have changed to 7 nights out of 14 each and take it from there.