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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Have to get rid of him NOW

  • amefbi
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04 Aug 12 #347316 by amefbi
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After letter from his sols that he wants divorce on my UB, draft for Petition to be 14days, I did call her and agreed divorce, But now husband is taking his time. What is the time frame waiting for petition?

Can I Petition him to be able to get this divorce proceedings forward and done with. After 40yrs I know him well enough.

He has withdrawn all cash amounts he had in various accounts and this month in Overdraft on bankstatement.(he thinks nobody knows, hahaha)

I believe he is going to move from FH (Hope he does)and wont pay mortgage etc. and this is why the court order maintanance is so important to me, or I might be able to claim benifits then.

I have read post on site how things can or might happen and why...and I feel I can Selprep with wiki-assistance.

Can I apply for Maintanance Pending direct to courts myself, without sols? To me this has become urgent...but I have not received the Petition yet.

What is the time period for the shortest divorce?..and financial issues?

To me our case is straightforward even though my questions might not be. But I have taken note of all the info on the site. I know I have a strong case and its simple, only FH, no equity, and worthless pension.

I know the courts will never decide on 50/50, or even if we agree he keeps pension,I keep house...and even if they did I will be better off than staying as it is now...as I will be able to claim benifits to support myself.

I am so anti benifits and want to claim SM, but can I claim this SM later and at what stage..just to let this divorce move forward as if its only the FM and pension.
But it has really become urgent that I do need money within next month or two.

After reading the above I cant even Edit this so it makes more sence, or conform issues together..Im going bonkers.

  • amefbi
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04 Aug 12 #347318 by amefbi
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Sorry Guys but my Maintanance question above has been fully explained by Dukey on previous post. I have just read this again.

Now that I want to Selfrep after my legal aid appointment yesterday, waited 2 weeks to apply for this and want to make app again for 3 weeks later and not even signed form..I just knew I want to fight this without slack solicitors and quick as well.

Thanks Dukey, but my mental state is all over the place again.

Would like to know if I can Petition him if I wait to long for his Petition.

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06 Aug 12 #347498 by cookie2
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If no Petition has been lodged with the courts yet, then you can petition him. It would be good etiquette to write to his solicitor saying of your intentions, for example if I do not receive the draft petition within 7 days then I am going to petition myself.

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06 Aug 12 #347718 by amefbi
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Yep I did call his Sols to inform he is not going back to mediation, not willing to pay all that money and I knew this would happen but pls can I have the Petition. She mentioned he was seeing her this week.

Today he arrived early, I asked its his sols app. He said no, gonna ask his deposit he is not going on with this divorce, paying 10K or more to divorce, he will rather buy as Merc (car).

I said I want to Divorce and he became abusive again.Its his house, he pays and I can leave. He filed for divorce in 2008 as well, same happened then, when he has to fill in any forms or give financial info.

I have my confidence back and a voice again. So grateful for this wiki-site. Am glad that I can now be Petitioner and get this over with in shortest time possible.

I never ''''Introduced myself'''' and will give my info details needed instead of having to explain my situation on different posts.

BTW, is our house, joint names, deed and mortgage.

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06 Aug 12 #347727 by soulruler
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Agreeing to the terms of the Petition is not law it is a protocol which is supposed to stop things becoming contentious and protracted.

The fact that his solicitors have not lodged a petition which you can agree to and he has told you he is not going to allow a divorce stating that he wants a Merc (what a ridiculous reason for refusing to co-operate) is a good enough reason as far as I am concerned combined with his confirmation that he doesn''t want to pay legal fees (so he isn''t going to instruct his team to write a petition by the sounds of it) to apply into court and petition first.

You do get a little more control of proceedings if you petition first which is another good reason for you to send in your 5 reasons.

Bearing in mind he is making it clear he is not going to co-operate I would consider getting the petition served quickly if he does not repsond to a postal service and acknowledgement by process server (baliff - contact them and they will explain the cost and the proceedure) so that they can confirm to the court that he has received the Petition.

I would also mention as it is a protocol for family lawyers you have a great reason for just applying in - how are you supposed to know?

Also, my petition was put in without agreement by my ex as it is acceptable in protocol for a petition to be submitted to court without agreement where there is evidence of domestic abuse.

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07 Aug 12 #347806 by amefbi
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He did same in 2008, wants divorce and the stop, but I have stayed as I could not support myself.I found evidence he defrauded me with his pensionfund, and did not want me to get my hands on lumpsum. but its all lost now, worthless pension per annum. He can keep his pension but I want the house(20k equity) but I want to claim SM that I know I will get that I had no knowledge in 2008.

He has been very abusive to me since 2007 when I became ill and disabled, he says Im just to lazy to work,wont give me pennie since then.Became so depressed, feeling worthless and all the rest.Its not just the Mental and verbal abuse but I feel I am physically abused as well.Even if he has never hit me, but many ''''near misses'''' and its gonna get worst now as I stand my ground and dont go back to my room and out of his space..have not sat in our lounge for 6yrs, no hotwater or central heating for 2yrs,no care or support when my illness keeps me 5-6 weeks in bed, not buying groceries for 5 mths, bump me over coffee table, hit the micro Im using to make porridge, flying from counter and bowl over the floor, I have this with water as he does not buy milk. Wont buy me deoderant or give money for haircut etc.Wont give me money for prescriptions.

He has last month withdraw all savings in all his accounts, no cash anywhere and has overdraft??? He has been irresponsible with ''''our'''' money since 2007 intentionally to harm me and ruined our future.

I know I have a strong case against him with all info on this site and will be selfrepping..nothing in ''''the pot'''' worthless pension and FH..but I want to go to court defo to decide. I know he will have to pay SM...and now I Petition and deal with this in better way I believe

Im so grateful for this site, have my confidence back after feeling worhtless and waste of space. Will not allow him to treat me like he did ever again.But living in same room in different bedrooms is still very difficult.
Told me last night he is staying in this house, he is paying the mortgage, I better leave..well Im not leaving either, but its getting heated.

Im not out for refenge or to score, just whats fair and want to go to court without trying and waiting for him to response, as we are getting nowhere, and Im the one suffering.

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07 Aug 12 #347812 by cookie2
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Don''t leave, and Petition him ASAP.

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