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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Criminal Offence to open anothers post

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07 Aug 12 #347879 by amefbi
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When a persons 6th sence kicks in, that something is wrong, the search begins to find any evidence and to any expense to get the answers and the truth.

I have been doing this for 40yrs.(after his 1st affair 35yrs ago) He does open his own bankstatements or payslips but then he just leaves this everywhere or the bin. I collect and file all paperwork/records. I did his online registration for emails, banks, etc as he is not computor literate, so yes I know more of himself than he does.

When he becomes sneaky and sly, I become suspicious and then I become ‘’inspector gadget’’ spying and tracing. I hate to be like this or these periods in my life, but I know by now I have to do this. And believe me once a cheater always a cheater, if its not woman it gonna be money one day.

If I have copies of bankstatements, phone records, emails, company letters and info. How will I ever be able to proof my case in divorce if I cant present proof if necessary about financial issues.

According to UK laws it’s a Criminal Offence to open another persons post. And I am guilty then. I know right from wrong but don’t have any other options. What can happen to me or held against me for this.

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07 Aug 12 #347885 by cookie2
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amefbi wrote:

How will I ever be able to proof my case in divorce if I cant present proof if necessary about financial issues.

You don''t need to prove your case in divorce. Use unreasonable behaviour. No proof is required.

I know right from wrong but don’t have any other options. What can happen to me or held against me for this.

Of course you have an option, you can simply not do it.

However it''s very unlikely that anything will happen or be held against you. I have never heard of anyone being arrested for opening another person''s mail. Imerman vs Tchenguiz was very high profile and rocked a lot of boats but for the lay-person this kind of thing is simply not worth pursuing.

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07 Aug 12 #347904 by amefbi
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Thx Cookie2

I dont have the correct English vocabulary or term (lol Im Afrikaans speaking and have to google all these unknown words)Thats why my questions sounds so weird and strange sometimes.

Hopefully I wont have to proof anything but its about pension money intentionally harming me, withdrawing savings, transfers huge amount to friends accounts, spending and living the high life while I have no food or hotwater just to name few.

Read about this Criminal Offence and this made me thinking again, as I know I am guilty.

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07 Aug 12 #347906 by cookie2
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If he is spending all the joint money then you should apply for an injunction. It sounds as though you may need the help of a solicitor in doing this. But if he is withdrawing more and more then you should act quickly.

You don''t need to gather proof yourself since you can see all his bank statements anyway as part of the form E. But once it''s spent, it''s spent.

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07 Aug 12 #347908 by amefbi
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Its gone, zero balance in accounts he was hiding money and his main account now has overdraft. He will never do form E or be truthfull, has withdrawn divorce now, but I am going on and will Petition him. He believes its his money,he is working, not me. I have been reading about injustions and occupancy now, trying to get all info. And I will be selfrepping, only way forward for me.

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07 Aug 12 #347933 by TBagpuss
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if he hs been hiding money away on other people''s accounts then you are going to need legal help. You mentioend you are not working and that he has emptied the joint account - have you checked to see whether you can get legal aid?

I do not think you need to worry to much about the post thing - of course you should not do it but even if he wanted to make an issue of it, how would he prove that you didn''t open it by mistake?

There are limits to what you can use if it has been obtained wrongfully, but he has an obligation to provide full and frank disclosure of his finances.

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07 Aug 12 #347949 by amefbi
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We had our own bank accounts, UK and SA, never joint, he used friends addresses in SA for his post, not our own family, instructed them to just throw post away. I only traced some bankstatements and was shocked, confronted him 2008.

I became ill in 2006, disabled and cannot work anymore. He should have been providing and caring for me, but its not been happening since 2007.I receive DLA since Jan 2012 for 2yrs, £298 income. Ive only known hardship since then, feeling worthless and waste of space, was fighting a losing battle with him..he has no insight what he is doing and have done, ruined both our futures.

I got my selfconfidence back and a voice since reading these post, I did see sols last week for legal help but felt like a ''''benifit case'''', got the feeling they dont really care and taking their time. I dont have 2months or 2 yrs to wait. I need to get money to survive immediately.

I have not been living but only existing from day to day for 6yrs,but no more. Time to get up and sort my life.

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