Being a co-respondant in a divorce.

Here''s a quick catch up. 43yrs ago I lived with a chap for 3 yrs, and we just fizzled out. Last December he contacted me saying he had always loved me and had been searching for years. As my own marriage is now very flat and boring, it was exciting . We emailed and texted for months, and then we met up for one night in London in May. I live in Spain and then flew back home. We kept in touch and "fell in love" again, but he was stupid and his wife suspected and found his phone and all my mobile numbers and photos and he confessed that I was the love of his life (I''m 68!!) she is furious and kept bombarding me with evil sms (I know I deserved them)and then she pretended to be him after having stolen his phone so we discussed our night!! She is going to cite me in her divorce (oh yes I was the reason for his first marriage break up, I''m not proud just stating the truth). Can she sue me for costs, neither of them know my address and its not easy to find from the internet. Can I deny it even though she read it on his phone, but she was pretending to be him. Will I get served with papers over in Spain and will my family have to know. I found that he was lying to me and his wife although not about another woman. He is a wimp and is terrified, so we have broken off all connection. I am not proud but it seemed so right at the time. Any help will be appreciated and I do expect abuse as before this I was an excellent example of morality. Thank you.

From what my solicitor told me if this man admits adultery your name doesnt need to come into it at all. If he doesnt admit adultery his wife would need photographic evidence on you in the act or an illegitimate child born of the affair. I;m sure someone will correct me if i am wrong but i wouldnt worry too much. Just change your number.

Thank you, yes I have changed both English and spanish mobile numbers, thanks, I feel a bit better, but still ashamed, definitely no children born at this age!!

but also the wife is feeling very vengeful ( I don''t blame her) and she will want to drag my name through the mud, can she, if I deny it, even his he admits it?

I was feeling very vengeful and was adamant that the OW be put on my divorce papers. My solicitor basically told me it wasnt an option. If he admits it there isnt any reason to and without evidence as mentioned before the divorce wont go ahead on the grounds of adultery.

Again thank you, it must have been painful for you. Hope you have moved on and are happy again! x

There is no reason for you to admit anything. You should not simply bin letters, but if you do not co-operate (ie. confess adultery) then you will be just fine. Leave their divorce up to them, don''t get involved, and no you won''t have to pay costs.