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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


What do I do?

  • HappyJack
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08 Aug 12 #348184 by HappyJack
Topic started by HappyJack
Hello

I have introduced myself on the appropriate forum so this is my 2nd post. I''ll try to keep it brief.

I am a 45 yr old married male with 2 young boys. We all live as a family in a house which has joint mortgage.

We have had our ups and downs, but recently my wife has made it known that she really hates my guts, doesnt want to be around me and wants me to leave our home.

For the sake of my kids I have taken all this on the chin for a bit but she is making it more difficult for me everyday by being downright nasty. Gaining sympathy from her friends by telling them I am an abusive husband and dad (I am NOT!!)

She is making things very uncomfortable for me and has told me she has seen a solicitor and the outcome is that I am gouing to be ordered from my home.

My head is all over the place at the moment. I have resisted seeking medical help for depression but the thought of not being with my boys makes me feel physically sick.

Any help on this matter would be appreciated.

many thanks

  • cookie2
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08 Aug 12 #348192 by cookie2
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Do not believe what she says her solicitor has told her. In all probability her solicitor has told her no such thing. It is extremely unlikely that you would be ordered from your home.

Tell her that you will not leave until there has been a divorce up to Decree Nisi stage and a Consent Order has been signed. Then and only then will you leave. If you leave now then I guarantee what will happen, she''ll expect you to carry on paying the mortgage while she sits pretty in the house and ignores all correspondence and attempts to negotiate. After all why would she be keen to come to a financial resolution when the status quo suits her perfectly fine? So don''t put yourself in that position. Don''t leave.

  • minxy1912
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08 Aug 12 #348199 by minxy1912
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sorry cookie,its just an opinion,but i disagree,all though i see your point. I would say go,move out,dont pay her mortgage or bills,play give all the way then she got nothing to throw at you.
The court will sort payments out in the end,evan if she does prat about,but that will look bad on her.
I get what your saying about the kids,but surley it be better to live apart but happy,than together and fight,the kids pick up on it believe me.

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08 Aug 12 #348201 by cookie2
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minxy1912 wrote:

I would say go,move out,dont pay her mortgage or bills,play give all the way then she got nothing to throw at you.

So what would he do when a maintenance pending suit order get slapped on him?

  • HappyJack
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08 Aug 12 #348202 by HappyJack
Reply from HappyJack
Hi

I am really grateful for your replies, even though there is a difference of opinion.

My gut feeling tells me not to move outat the moment and to keep out of her way as much as possible. And to be honest my financial situation is dire so I couldn''t afford another mortgage or even to rent the cheapest bedsit!

She has mentioned a Decree Nisi is on its way to me.

If I was to move out and stopped paying the mortgage/bills (I pay everything) wouldn''t that effectively be damaging to my children?
They are already getting brainwashed that Daddy is nasty, Daddy is mean, Daddy is horrible etc ect

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08 Aug 12 #348203 by cookie2
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HappyJack wrote:

She has mentioned a Decree Nisi is on its way to me.

Right, well that shows just how wrong or misinformed she is. A Decree Nisi would not be on its way to you until after the Petition is drafted and sent to court, you have responded with the Acknowledgement of Service, she has applied for Directions for trial and the court have processed that (which takes around 6 weeks usually). And then there''s the arrangements for children which all needs to be documented. A decree nisi would never simply be "on its way" to you. I think she either doesn''t have a clue what is going on, or is deliberately lying to you.

  • HappyJack
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08 Aug 12 #348206 by HappyJack
Reply from HappyJack
Thanks cookie2, your advise is invaluable and had made me feel better already.

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