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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


What do I do?

  • Marshy_
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08 Aug 12 #348264 by Marshy_
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Hi Jack.

HappyJack wrote:

Thanks cookie2, your advise is invaluable and had made me feel better already.


I am not going to go over the good advice that cookie gave you. Its the other things I want to touch on.

She is trying to drive you out. She has no more seen a solicitor then I have a Ferrari. Its all scare tactics. But dont be moved by this. Or that she is accusing you of abusing her and her telling the kids things about you. Its all coblers mate. Sit tight. See what happens.

Now I am going to tell you what not to do. And how to react. This is important.

What ever you do, dont engage with her. By that I mean have heated rows. If she picks on you, walk away. Go to the bathroom or wherever. Dont go toe to toe with her. If you do, she can call the old bill and make trouble for you.

She wants rid of you. Thats clear. But you musnt retaliate. If you need to answer, reply in your head.

If things get really bad, move to another part of the house. Be it a spare room or somewhere that you can put all yr stuff and keep it secure. And live out of that space. Eat in there, sleep in there. Keep it locked. But tidy of course. And dont let her in your space.

Lastly. This is not going to be easy. You are in for a rough time with her. But just hunker down. Just survive day to day and wait her out. With a bit of luck she will get fed up and leave. Then you can go from there.

But keep coming back here. We can support you during this time. It will be tough. But you can get thru it. C.

  • HappyJack
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08 Aug 12 #348272 by HappyJack
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Marshy, you sound like you actually KNOW my wife! - you are spot on.
Thanks for your advise and thank God I''ve found this forum. Its given me strength already. :)

  • MrsSadness
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09 Aug 12 #348321 by MrsSadness
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Dear Happy Jack - great name by the way! Welcome - I am relatively new in here too, brilliant site full of some very knowledgeable and helpful people, and after being in here for some months before I joined, just reading whatever I could, can say Cookie is one such person. And if you are out there, Cookie, I have ag great respect for you and regard your postings with some awe as to how knowledgeble you are ( flattery! :blush:) but true, in my experience and since you mention MPS to Happy Jack, wondered if you may bestow some of your knowledge upon me! Still confused re MPS - Form A, yep, but according to Alexander Chandler''s article and posted on here, well, that article says MPS has to be instigated by submission of a D11 too. I don''t suppose you would happen to have a definitive answer would you? I will pop down the court tomorrow anyway, to collect my ''kit'' - newbies as LIP, check the envelope court gives you - mine was lacking all sorts of forms!!! I asked for a form E and had to wait 20 mins for it to be photocopied - didn''t have any, er, I need 3 - but didn''t like to hold the queue up any longer! But anyway, hence need for return visit. ( you can download forms off net, btw, for any real rookies out there)

Sorry I digress, Cookie, and I must learn not to write such verbose posts!!!!! But if you do know the answer to just how exactly to Petition for MPS ( am desperate - STBX left me with nothing!) I would soooooo appreciate it! Merci buckets, in advance!

Sorry, to nip into your thread Happy Jack - hang on in there. All a bit of a shock to you I suppose. Welcome though to the world of divorce and to plaugarise from another stalwart in here - ''good here, innit!''. (SR- thanks, that made my day!) Well, it is in that within this site you will find so many lovely people all trying to help eachother, during what is also quite paradoxically a terribly distressful and distressing time for most of us, facing ''this''. I wish you best of luck, Happy Jack, but welcome! Bye.

  • minxy1912
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09 Aug 12 #348350 by minxy1912
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i agree with cookie on that one, she bull shitting you. you would have to of signed like cookie says way befor the Nisi. I wasnt having a go before cookie,just a different out look.:)maintenance order you menshiond?

  • cookie2
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09 Aug 12 #348364 by cookie2
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Yep what Marshy said, follow this to the letter! Do not engage, argue or fight AT ALL. She is looking for the smallest excuse to get rid of you so do not give her an inch because she will take a mile. If she shouts at you or is obviously busting for a row or even says anything whatsoever that is not productive, just walk away and DO NOT respond. "Yeah, you''re probably right" is a good phrase to use. She won''t have a good come-back for that and will probably get sick of hearing you say it. 2 birds, one stone :)

Mrs Sadness sorry I''m not up on the exact procedure, that is more Dukey''s area, he would know for sure. If you make a new thread he''ll probably see it.

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09 Aug 12 #348374 by MrsSadness
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Thanks Cookie, and Happy Jack, I so agree with other OP''s - re your current situation. Just hang on in there! Best wishes, Mrs S

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