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I feel for you - it was cruel and cowardly to break the news to you when you were overseas. I wonder, now that she has all the financial security, a job and a nanny etc. if she does actually feel happy while you are away - and I wonder if she has thought through what living without you in the long-term means.
I sincerely hope that you manage to get her to explain to you why she is so unhappy, so that you can address it together. i really don''t know what else to say.
Good advice on here so far. You are probably trying to tear yourself apart with the ''what ifs'' (what if there is someone else? what if I hadn''t taken this contract? etc etc etc).
This is extremely tiring and you need to park it as best you can.
It sounds like you have two strategies that probably need to be followed at the same time.
1. You need to establish the ground rules for your ''friendship''. This MUST include an agreement on contact with your children and get it in writing if possible. As things deteriorate you could find yourself being denied contact. Keep this in mind and take action quickly as soon as contact is denied.
2. If you believe in your heart you probably want to put together a plan of action. Look up details about a ''walk away wife''. It is a condition that affects a lot of women it seems.
At times you will cry and be angry and possibly even want to hurt your wife. You must never, and I mean never, beg, plead or threaten your wife. Everything you say or text or email is liable to appear at some point in a court whilst at the same time the more you push the more likely you are to push her away.
Be brave my friend. There may be someone else and you might have to face up to it at some point. Talk to friends, post here and keep yourself sane You are not the one affected by the illness, you are the victim of abuse!
Take care and keep posting updates!
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